The Year of Sequels

The year has been a sequel year (as truly all the years in the calender are, but that's not what I meant).

There were direct sequels, like Hera Pheri II, Dhoom II and Munnabhai II (though the names were slightly different). In Hollywood we had Pirates of Carribean II, Saw III, Santa Claus III. Not to mention nth Superman movie, and nth Rocky movie.

Then there were remakes (which are let's say sequels of cast and crew of the original). Sholay (though it is yet to be made) and Casino Royale to name a few...

Last but not the least, there were titular sequels (nice term isn't it? I coined it), i.e. the movies which "sequelled" the name of the original. To give an example, in Bollywood "Main Hoon Na" became "Tum... Ho Na".

All in all, it seems it was A Good Year for Deja Vu (though apparently, both these movies tanked at box office)

A Bit of Christmas Cheer

UPDATE: Changed lables. Additions: None
Looks like people have started giving us Christmas presents early this year.

• Finally, J. K. Rowling announced the title for the seventh and (unfortunately) last Harry Potter book on her website (The Secret Door is open again, as you must have guessed). For all the interested people, it is: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".
  Let the speculations, theories, discussions begin... (Oops, they have already...)


• Looks like some people were listening to me when I planned my post-mortal activities. Since Blogger allows posting by mail, I can even post my "final" post using this service, as well as other things in my list. A nice backup plan for the "envelope with my attorneys", I am sure.

As I said before, Studio 60 is shaping up to be a nice series. I don't know what it is about this part in the latest episode (where Matt tries to bring some Christmas cheer to the studio), but every time I watch the episode (and I have watched it at least thrice), I am helpless with laughter:

I am sure "Let's get rid of demented Santa" is not exactly in Christmas spirit, but even Santa laughs.


S.P. (a.k.a. Small Print): If you feel I am a bit weird in the last point, I am still a bit rubber-legged from my bicycle ride. But in Nov 2003, I came in third in intra-DC cycle race in Hyderabad after getting on cycle after around 1 year, so I am not exactly out of practise.

Back Online...

A lot of things have happened in last few days:

• Laden was found killing people in Asam (yes, in India), and was (allegedly) put to death. In true serial killer fashion, there is still some debate as to whether it was he who was really killed. Conspiracy theories abound as usual.


• My exams are over, and I am on break till 10th Jan. (This explains my sudden disappearance for last few days)


• I didn't get a girlfriend, but I got a haircut.


• Apperently, I am third worst driver on the (normal) street. Now I know whom to call on to schauffer me around when I get to Pune.


• Last but not the least, I am named "Time Person of the Year". I take that as a singular, not plural, so let me enjoy before life brings me back on ground.

Random Things IV

• When we were in 12th std, we attended mathematics class at 8.30 pm. It was the last batch of the day, for one of the best teachers we have ever had. He taught us many things, not least of which was how to have fun while learning. That's why this video was a blast from the plast.
  
  The only problem in this video is that there are no students in front of him to recant the formula in usual singsong, or to call "jatana bhetun ja" ("meet me before you leave", when somebody got any problem wrong), so his style is bit cramped. But, whatever happens, Namya rules, and so does E3 (that's our batch)!!!


• I need a girlfriend, some might say desperately.


• I won't be surprised if my friends in Vegas (some lucky people are there for project) hear "Pehchan kaun?" when entering some club there, since I read this headline.

Post Mortal

PuLa in his memorable essay entitled "तुम्हाला कोण व्हायचे आहे, मुंबईकर, पुणेकर का नागपूरकर?" or "Who you want to be? Mumbaikar, Punekar or Nagpurkar?" said that the life's aim of every Punekar is to "be recognised" after he retires. But, today's generation of Punekar does not have such small ambitions. We don't think that gaining fame in the life after retirement should be The Aim of one's life.

I mean, supposing a person retires at the age of 55 (if retirement age is not there, it will be when it's our time), and assuming a normal life expectancy of 90 years, we are looking at 35 years of fame. 36, if you are really good. That's not even a lifetime. So, we should be looking beyond just these 35 years. We should be looking at our "life" after death. That's when the fame counts. Like they say, very few great persons are "recognised" in their lifetime.

Keeping that in mind, today I found a great barrier in the efforts of my future biographers. Every great person seems to have written a lot of letters in his life, and books containing his letters to his parents, wife(/wives), children, friends, enemies (the list goes on) and the commentary on those letters are always bestsellers (among the historians and suchlike). But, my innate laziness and the advent of internet has resulted in the letters written by me being very limited in number. And the ones I have written, when edited will not even fill one good-sized book.

When I realised that, I felt like I am not doing enough for my future biographers when they will start writing their thesis on The Great ... me (I have yet to decide what Great ... I will be), and given my nature, it is very difficult that the condition will change in foreseeable future. This would greatly inconvenience them, and probably make them turn away to a better "lettered" subject.

But then I hit on the solution. The envelope left with my attorney (to be opened after my death), along with the post to be put on my blogs, will also contain the passwords to all my e-mail accounts. I will also leave instructions to clean the accounts of spam mails at regular intervals, to further convenience others after me. I also realised that this will also give me great advantage when compared to other, similarly lazy, internet-crazy people of my generation.




S.P. (i.e. small print): This idea, as all my other ideas is copyrighted. All disputes should be contested in the court of God.

Spoofs?

"One Ring To Rule Them All, One Ring To Find Them,
One Ring To Bring Them All and In The Darkness Bind Them..."

My friend heard his wife and her friends say this yesterday. Later, she asked her since when they were interested in LoTR so much. She looked confused, and told him that they were discussing about wedding rings and husbands.

I have been thinking about that since morning. It started with why I haven't tried spoofs yet (which is not true, I have written a spoof story). Then, I thought I should do some spoofs, like LoTR or Harry Potter (Sherlock Holmes was discarded on count of being my role model). Then I thought of this joke. And more I think of it, less funny it gets.

Now I know how spoofs (and jokes) can tank. So, I am reserving my judgement on this:

Epic Movie Trailer

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It can be good, or it can be hilariously bad. Some parts of Scary Movie series were pretty good, though.


P.S. Remember Monica's worst Thanksgiving? I almost enacted that scene all by myself. All in all, not a good day for me, though my toe just missed beheading (denailing?) by an inch.

Alloo News?

Many people have recommended The Onion for good entertainment. After reading one or two news there, I agree. I am waiting for somebody to start a similar website for Indian news (though I think "Alloo News" might score above "Pyaaj News" for the name), or at least I was till recently.

But reading some recent news, I think we don't need false news for entertainment, we have the normal news which are more than adequate for that. While we have school boards which are thinking of making students hug each other to reduce stress (and I still think they are just a step away from educational miracles), on the other hand toddlers are being accused of rape of a 20-year old woman. We still have cases in courts against Orkut for allowing some "I hate..." communities (I seriously think this is better way than dragging Orkut in court).

And if that is not enough, now we have cases being filed in courts against actors for kiss they share in a movie. What I do not understand that why the suit against actors, when it's the director (and writer) who decide what they do. And furthermore, I can understand why some people might think a kiss is obscene, but how it is "intended to insult the modesty of a woman" (article 509 of Indian Penal Code)?

And before you ask, yes, apperently B family is supposed to have had words with their future daughter-in-law for locking lips with some third person.

I am worried now. I am asking my lawyer friend if I have committed a crime under any of these articles by suggesting my "educational miracle policy".



P.S. Any more suggestions for the Indian Onion?

I Hate This...

I am proud that I share my birthday with one of the greatest persons India has produced, who rose despite tremendous barriers in his path to become the Chairman of the committee which wrote Indian Constitution. (and I am aware that I have given away my birth date for one and all who know their civics)

But I am not proud of being Indian today if it means that some towns across India are burning because some antisocial elements did what they do best.

I am not sure whether this is one more argument against raising statues at every corner of India, or one more example of how politics is (is that correct grammar?) crazy, that the Deccan Queen burns when there is some problem in Kanpur. Have I been out of India for so long that Deccan Queen now takes a detour through Kanpur? And if it does, how can we call it "Deccan" Queen when it goes north?

Someone Pinch Me...

Taking Munnabhai's prescription seriously, the state education board has made it mandatory for government school students to begin their day with a "jaadu ki jhappi" for keeping stress at bay.

Please tell me this is not an Onion news item. I hope it is not. I am sure a good hug is the only solution to relieving the stress induced in schools. I mean, too much weight in the sac? Hug your friend. Got an exam coming up which "decides your future"? Hug your study group. It's so easy, I wonder why nobody thought of it before Munnabhai. But then, nobody thought of "Gandhigiri" before him. Now I know why education system in US or Europe is such highly appreciated. I mean, you can see hugging couples everywhere you go (even kissing).

I was going to suggest that this measure be included in colleges too, (I am sure it will work wonders in colleges, least of which is increasing the attendance in colleges), when I read this line

And to ensure that a hug doesn't lead to any problems, the board has also recommended that hugs will be exchanged only between same genders.

That line puts a huge damper on my plans for educational reforms in India.

(Better) Halfs???

Frankly, the word "Brangelina" reminds me more of Brandywine river than a celebrity couple. And now, we have one more in the line, "Abhiwariya". I am pretty sure that is as much a word as "Brangelina", which means I am pretty much sure that is not a word in any language known in this universe (I am not so sure about multiverse though). Did anybody remember newspaper headlines for "Amijaya" or "Dharmamalini"? I strongly doubt (but I think it looks even more stupid if the latter name is one or two syllables only).

Also, if we follow standard procedures of marriage, shouldn't it be "Aishshek" (or Aishek)? I mean, normally the bride takes the name of her husband, right? It does not happen other way round, right?

Which leads me to think that this might be a ploy of feminists to reverse the norms in order to gain "equality". If that is so, I implore those who came up with the idea to please consider how stupid it looks, and to focus on some other aspect of life to gain their ends.

Looking Forward To...

While I am not watching many movies lately, I mean, in theatres, there's a movie I am looking forward to watching next month (hope I can hitch a ride). The books are great (despite many claims to contrary), and if the movies are executed on the similar level to Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings trilogy (which the trailers lead me to believe it is), then this will be a treat to watch. The trailer is here:


And the book review is here.


Also, one more date I am looking forward to is 13th July, which is way away. We will get more trailers and (fingers crossed) title of the seventh book before that, but I sincerely hope that Harry Potter franchise gets back to its glory days of "Prisoner of Azkaban". I will hate to see another scene where Dumbledore looks so helpless (teaser trailer bodes pretty well though). Here's the teaser trailer for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix":


Hope I don't have to write a review for this series. On second thoughts, that's a thought...


P.S. 50th post here too... Many more to go before I "sleep"...

Random Things III

Back from Chicago, and school is scheduled to start tomorrow (does it have to?) So, now that I am trying to get ready for school tomorrow, I am also thinking that this blog which was started to put background posts and small posts is getting more and more posts about online news sites. Anyways, this is one more post in the series.

• In last few days, the Today's Highlight on Indiatimes site was "Partying finally takes its toll on Paris". I don't know how they choose the highlight, but my first thought after reading the headline was, this is "India"times right?
• Nothing problematic with this news, nor headline. In fact, this is one of the best double-meaning headlines I have ever heard (Yes, I do give credit where it is due). But I am wondering whether they meant Chinese or Hindi/Urdu or English when they wrote the piece? Given it is chinese president, I am pretty much sure it would be chinese.
  

Bollywood, Hollywood...

i.e. about two good Hollywood movies and their Indian counterparts....

1. A recommendation for all those people who remember who is Yeda Anna, Chhota Chhatri and not to mention, Guru Gulab Khatri... watch the original.
   "Awara, Pagal Deewana" is one of the comedy movies you enjoy for about 1-2 more times than normal hindi movies (i.e. you watch it about twice) for all the madcap madness going on. But believe me, "The Whole Nine Yards" is way better. It's not exactly a news that Matthew Perry is funny as usual, but other actors also do not let you down. If you have watched the hindi copy, you know the story, but even then the comedy timing of all the actors is too good to watch. Even the sequel is good, though not upto the first part.
   The only worry I had after watching this, hope Bollywood does not come out with a copy of "The Whole Ten Yards", maybe named "Awara, Pagal, Deewana, Aashiq"


2. One more good Matthew Perry movie is his latest one, "The Ron Clark Story". It is based on a real life story of a high school teacher who took on the toughest class in the toughest section of New York, and pulls their test grades above average. Matthew Perry can act serious too, you know, and act real good. The dedication of the teacher and the general story line reminded me of the marathi movie, "10 F". That movie too is about how with a dedicated teacher's help, a class of students generally considered pretty much "gundas" turn their lives over, and make a contribution.
   And when I say the marathi movie is not a copy, it's not just because my friend's brother acted in that movie, but the fact is that the movie came out in 2003. Also, the stories are slightly different. The Ron Clarke... is about how the teacher improves the class' attitude towards learning, and helps them rise from district's bottom class to the topmost class. In 10 F, the students trash the school after getting punished for a crime they didn't do, and the teacher helps them to earn money to repair everything, while helping them to continue their studies. Both movies, worth watching guys...

Recommended for all...

Random Things II

• Many Happy Returns of The Day to the most favourite marathi kid of all!!! For last 16 years, this kid has (actually not) grown with us all, and still continues to make us laugh with his pure childish innocence. And while we are at it, can somebody tell me how the 16 year old kid is still, you know, a kid? That's a secret I would love to know.


• What do you think when somebody says "wardrobe malfunction"? Definitely not that the person has lost the keys to his wardrobe, like said here. Why oh why do people continue to say things which are so silly, for lack of better (or worse, in this case) word?

Anyways, all those people who are wondering where I have been... I am in Chicago for Thanksgiving break. And I have been away making all arrangements at the last moment and then travelling. Will be back commenting on all my favourite blogs soon. Till then, keep commenting here...


P.S. Just for clearing some things up, the link for the second comment was sent by a forward-happy friend...

Grrr...

The days keep getting brighter. So, here is second in line of things which keep me saying "Grrr..." (in words of one of my friends)

1. I never knew Mahabharata happened less than 300 years ago. At least, that's what my calculations say, because apparently, Srikrishna was two and half year old 300 years ago.


2. I always thought James Bond was a Commander in Royal Navy. What I didn't know that he was an MBA with specialization in IT. Did the term IT even exist when Ian Fleming wrote Bond?

And finally, one thing which came closest to making me smile today. The 4th topmost search query for this blog is "Ghostess"...

Random Things...

1. Yahoo mail has feature which is very similar to Outlook. So, sometimes when you are dragging a mail to trash can, it opens in the preview window. So, I am dragging the mail with subject "Someone sexy wants to meet you". The content is one hyperlinked word, "Follow". My first thought is would have made a good topic for Spamming 201 course. Second thought is, why should I follow someone who wants to meet me, however sexy she is?
2. If I had money, I would have published this book. A definite best-seller if I am a judge...
   
3. Rediff has a poll as usual out which asks,"Who would you like to see out of Bigg Boss?" My answer... the "g" at the end of Big. What is that thing doing there? Sounds like mutated gene or something...
4. Indiatimes says that two actresses have "psychotic characters" in common. The similarities don't end there, one of them kills 10 people in the movie, the other has the hero assaying the same number of characters with her as villain. Am I stupid today or does that thing not make any kind of sense?
5. Rediff wants us to click photographs with cricket/sports personalities. When cricket become not a sport?

Am I cranky today? Did I wake up on wrong side of the bed? Didn't I get my early morning coffee today? Maybe...
Also, Blogger Dashboard took about 15 minutes to open. Go figure...

What makes an Office?

An almost incompetent boss who can easily hurt just about anybody unknowingly? A hot receptionist? A fun guy, who has (not so) secret crush on the receptionist? A guy who likes power, though he has none? A stuck up person or a dull person?

If you answered any of these questions with "Yes", read ahead...

I have found one more contender for Amye awards over the last few days. The Office is a mocumentary, where the camera follows people in a paper company. The series currently aired in US (the US version) is based on a 12 part series originally aired on BBC by the same name.

Now, I know I am in minority, but I believe US series (call it watered down or anything, but) has more moments of fun and drama than original UK series, which is much more serious. See for yourself the UK version:


and the US version:


Of course, it also helps that Pam Beesley is much cuter (not to mention hotter) than Dawn Tinsley (the actress is currently working in "Studio 60").

There's A Party Tonight...

Some people drink on Friday nights, some people have party on Saturday nights, and apparently, some Gods drink on Sunday nights...

When I read that news, these are the thoughts which came into my mind (in the order of appearance):

1. Finally, somebody is getting things historically correct in our country (after all, what is culture but things done historically). Believe me when I say that I have read Mahabharat, Ramayan in (almost) entirety, and there are many instances where gods drink varuni (also called somaras). Even in case of yadna-yaag, somaras was a part of offering apparently (which is why I always thought Gods drinking milk was crazy)


2. Why english liquor? It has to be against our culture.


3. But, isn't Sunday night a bad choice? I mean, drink on Friday and Saturday and you at least have a day to recover from hangover. I wouldn't want that to add to other Monday morning blues.


4. But then, God doesn't have to wake up and go to office on Monday morning, and he definitely does not have a class at 8:30 am on Monday.


5. Which explains why some people have bad Mondays. I mean, when the God is having cranky time, there is not much your guardian angel can do, right?

Tips To New Spammers

Recently, there has been a lot of new spam mails in my GMail account, which has forced me to think of what a great way of getting money/commission or whatever spammers (which apparently is not a word) get out of people. So, I am thinking of starting a new School for Spammers (since we all know what a profitable business schools are). And as regular readers (OK, readers) of my blog, I think you all deserve a sneak peak at our syllabus...

So, Spamming 101: Tips for New Spammers, which were gleaned after an in depth study of spam mails of today's era (the italics are commentary over the slides):

• Check the name of the person you are sending mails to, and send mails to him in every name except his (I have been getting at least 4-5 mails every day, which has my name correct, and every surname except mine, though my surname is in my mail id)


• Check the region the user has mail id in (like yahoo.co.in etc) and send him mail in languages he is least likely to know (I mean, mails in Chinese? Are you kidding me?)


• Make extreme claims which even the stupidest person will not believe(Slightly, adult stuff here, but break logs? Is there any person who can believe that?)


• Tell people that stocks nobody has ever heard of are going to be "next thing"(I am no stock market whiz, but the names they give, I would invest in Enron after the news came out)


• Last but not the least, spelling is the last thing you should concentrate on(If there is even one 2 syllable word which is not misspelled...)

So,any takers for the course?

God Is Not Exactly In Heaven, But Definitely Somewhere Very Close

What is the difference between a comedian and a great comedian? Picture a comedian doing a drunken scene (any person in hindi movies will do for this) and all the gestures, drunken laughs he does. Now picture all that coming in one line which is delivered in a single breath without pulling any faces or voices, "Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now. But legitimately. I had back surgery on Tuesday. L-5/S-1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? You bet." Great comedians can deliver lines which can floor you, with dead face...

If I had not had the traumatic experience of an exam today, I would be laughing and singing. God is not exactly in heaven, not all is well with the world, but some things are definitely going fine here...

If Matthew Perry's first line in any show is "I am on some medication right now, which I guess makes me not know where the chairs are" which comes after he falls down trying to sit on a chair, and if you have watched even one episode of Friends ever, you are sure to continue watching...

Connection between these three paragraphs? Got my hands on first 7 episodes of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" the day before yesterday, and have watched them at least twice after that. A great show, Perry is great as usual, though he is Matt here, not Chandler. Of course, the show is "drama" not "comedy", but then that guy can pull jokes from thin air, and make them stand. Apparently the show was going to be cancelled due to fall in viewership, but yesterday I heard it is going to continue (which is the reason for second para). Hope it gets the viewership it deserves and goes on beyond promised (till now) first season.



And from what I have seen till now, this is one strong contender for "Amye Awards". One more thing to watch for every week from now on.



P.S. My idea for the reality show in last post comes from hearing about reality shows in Studio 60 just before going to sleep...

The Best Reality Show Ever

We have had Fear Factor, where people face their fears. We have had Temptation Island, where people brave temptations in the form of... well, you get it.

But now, I have the idea for the greatest Reality Show (notice the caps) ever. I present...

*drum roll*
Temptation Factor...

The basic idea behind the show: place 4/5 ladies/females/girls in a house together, and the one who can be silent (that's facing fear for you) for the most amount of time, wins. The winner gets free coupons to shop in dress/saree stores (depending on the country) and jewellery shops.

And wait, that's not all. For all people who fear that the temptation to shop will win over the innate fear of silence, there's more. There's the temptation part, you know: at specific intervals, we will be feeding juicy bits of gossip about other girls to everybody. So, everybody will know one fact about all other girls, which is unknown to other girls (except the one about whom it is, of course).

I am sure this is one show which need not be limited to one country, without changing the concept in the least. And think of the rip-offs. We can have "saas-bahu" special, "desperate housewives" special, "sex and the city" special, "bollywood" special and what not (don't make me write any of those serial names again). And all this can be done in one season, can't expect one round to last long, can we?

And we can get the winner of the season to write a book, "How I Kept Silent Despite All", a surefire best-seller gift item (from husbands to their wives). Just the part of royalty from the books will be enough to float our own television channel.

TV award shows, here I come....

New Awards

We here at The Aerie Institute are always trying to find new ways to provide information to people who may or may not have access to it earlier. This includes public service announcements (from our Immunology department), or developing a new scale (from our Literature department) to provide a reliable basis for comparison of books we like (the definitive work on which is still in progress).

This time, our Media department has come up with a new idea to recognise the Great Television Serials we have watched over the time. And so, without any further ado, let me present to you,

*Drum Roll*


The Amye Awards for Excellence in Television Programming (known as The Amye Awards in short, pronounced Amy)




The awards will recognise the contribution of the television to improvement of human life. Since we at the Aerie believe in circular time, the awards will be presented without consideration of the time period in which the program was aired (which makes sense in current era of re-runs). Also, the award will be given to television programs in any area.

And, the first awards go to:

*Drum Roll with a close-up of all nominies*

• Brainiac - Science Abuse, and
  


• Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister

Please join me in a standing ovation for the winners...



P.S. For all curious toms, the "e" at the end of name was added for numerological reasons.

So Much Negativity...

How do you know you have "arrived" on blog-scene? The conventional way is when your stat-counter ticks like clock, and/or you break into first 1000 in Blogstreet or other directories...
On the other hand, more than usually, you know it when (at least for female bloggers), you start getting spam comments (you know the kind I mean) on your blog.

Similarly, how do you know you are making some difference on wikipedia? Conventional way is when you get "barnstars" and/or pats on the back by administrators and fellow contributors.
On the other hand, more often than not, your contribution reflects in the number of time your user page is vandalised.

Is it just me, or is the whole world giving out negative vibes?

Yes, you guessed right, my user page on wikipedia was vandalised for the first time today.

Finally, A Definite Answer

Why I am still single is a question many people have asked me over last few years, including my close friends (when they are not saying, "now that's why you don't have a girlfriend")

Today, while proctoring an exam for the class, I saw a girl who also seem to be fed up with the question, and gave a fitting reply to everybody using her t-shirt. So, by her permission (OK, I called TA privilege), I give the answer to the question why I am still single:

The odds are good,
But the goods are odd

P.S. Apparently this answer can be given by any person in any engineering college, in any country...*



*conditions apply

Something To Make You Think...

Biology labs are really interesting... and I am not talking about putting some hot seniors in a room, with covered windows, and switching off the lights. Well, we were testing the rate of photosynthesis, you know (you dirty minds, what did you think)...

Anyways, something our TA said brings me to the second in line in my attempt to post on some serious, hard-hitting questions which are puzzling the greatest minds in the universe (to wit, mine)...

Why do we say, "first things first"? I mean, it goes without saying that first things will be, err... first by definitions. Or else, we would have called them second things or third things or so on.

And while we are on the subject, why do we say "it goes without saying"? Haven't we "said" it already, thus making it self-contradictory?

I tell you, this English language is...



OK, if you think I am being weird, try getting exactly 1:00:00 on the 1/100th second stopwatch... Now try getting it twice in a row, and tell me how you feel.

How A Champion Exits

16 years of career, 250 races, 91 wins, 7 World Championships... Making him statistically The Most Successful driver in the history (and The Most Successful if you ask me).

Starting the last race of his career from 10th position, he shoots to 5th position before needing a pit-stop due to left-rear puncture. Coming back on the track in last (19th) position, again maneuvers around the circuit in his characteristic style, gaining 4th position. Though he did not win the race, nor the championship and did not make it to the podium, the Red Baron did show us what true champions are made up of...

I had dearly wished for a rainy race this time. That would have been a fitting adieu to Regenkönig before he hangs his steering... He is leaving too large a cockpit for anybody else to fill.

Here's to the Red Baron, the Regenkönig, the champion strategist and the most (controversially) successful driver of F1 history!!!

And here's wishing our own little champ follows his example...

Update...

Haven't commented on any blogs for last 2 days, finished replying to comments on my blogs after 2 days today. Have a tag pending (on pain of getting frozen). But then, let's just say that last 2 days have not been the best days in my life, and leave it at that. Something like what happened to this fellow, though not the same reason or occasion:


I swear on my iPod and vaio (taking a leaf out of Silverine's book) I will finish the tag and comment on all blogs over the weekend (which hopefully starts Friday).

Till then, some of the things I learnt at my bio lab today

• Killing 100 honeybees, and cutting them in 3 parts (head, thorax and abdomen) on a table of 4 (you do that math per person) is somehow soothing, and makes for a lot of fun when nobody is stung.


• Either I am very good with scalpel or I am a genocidal maniac. I did more than my share of cutting.


• Crushing 100 bee thoraxes in a mortar is gross. And while we are at it, my friends who are ayurveda doctors are going to kill me when they hear what I used their patented mortar and pestle for...


• That said, last but not the least, I can have a bottle of potassium cyanide sitting on my table, and avoid the urge to use it to create some scene á la some Agatha Christie novel.

News?

Main Entry: news
Pronunciation: 'nüz, 'nyüz
Function: noun plural but singular in construction
Usage: often attributive
1 a : a report of recent events b : previously unknown information (I've got news for you) c : something having a specified influence or effect (the rain was good news for lawns and gardens -- Garrison Keillor) (the virus was bad news)
2 a : material reported in a newspaper or news periodical or on a newscast b : matter that is newsworthy


So, when I read that "APJ Abdul Kalam, the country's top missile guru who rose to become President, was caned for being a naughty boy in school" as a news on ToI "News" page, my first thought was he visited some school, and was caught spraying ink on a teacher's back. Those were the days when we... oh, back to the point...

My second thought was that, this was definitely 1b and 2a, maybe a bit of 1c (it was a funny news for me), but definitely not 1a and 2b in Merriam Webster's definition of the word "news", as given above.

Now that we are on ToI, let's move to "Movies" page. There, you will find a piece called, "Upen is Akshay Kumar" Don't ask who is Upen, as that is beside the point here. The first line of the article reads, "No, Akshay Kumar is not going around impersonating a younger Upen Patel." Doesn't that sound a bit (completely) opposite to what the headline would suggest?

And then, let's go over to Rediff... which reports the PM, "We'll test Pakistan after giving terror evidence: PM" Nothing wrong at all in that, but am I the only one here who has visions of Pakistan (in guise of Gen. Musharraf) standing as a nervous, sweating schoolboy in front of our PM (who is wearing the typical school teacher dress, cane in hand) asking him to recite, err... evidence (or something like that) or he will give him a fatal beating?

Friday the 13th

Today:
The day is Friday
The date is 13th
The month is October...

All of which combined together once to give rise to the legend of Friday the 13th, not to mention the numerous books, theories, conspiracy theories and other things (like computer virus by the same name) it started...

And our instructor had to pick up today to give us back our papers for midterm...


P.S. While we are at it, the wiki article on Friday the 13th mentions that "Novelist Daniel Handler, also known as Lemony Snicket, Released the 13th book of the Series of Unfortunate Events on Friday the 13th of October 2006." Is that past tense by mistake or did I miss a day somewhere?

Daily Beans???

Trawling through YouTube has its own rewards... Like this video here(Sorry, as you can see, embedding is disabled by the owner)

Now I wonder what is missing there? Hmm, maybe Colbert commenting on the interview would make it a bit more interesting (as if it needs that).

Also, if you are a brave soul (and don't mind smut) , check out the video called "Mr. Bean Roll call" there, which actually has nothing to do with the series, but is a part of stand-up comedy show by Rowan Atkinson. I guess this is the school where "Fatal Beating" took place...

And now that I have induced you to view that smut, I am sure I am going to get "A warm welcome" to Hell, and I maybe missing "The Amazing..." if Christians are to be believed (which may not be the case if The Devil is right, which he is known not to be). But I guess I can check with Bill how he feels now that the manager of his theatre was correct (he is bound to be in hell given the number of schoolboys and girls he has tormented for last 400 years)

The Rs. 4,54,20,000 Question #1

Or The 45.42 mya Question #1 (and that would make it Ages-Old, right about the time when there are records of primates splitting up into two divisions on some question)...

I have decided to make my blog "legit", i.e. to have serious content on the blog, which sparks some serious discussion and makes the readers* think. So, first in series of serious questions which will be pondered here:

In a survey conducted by me recently (just finished the number-crunching), it was found that 62.5% of the female bloggers and 33% of the male bloggers in my Google Reader list don't display their ages in the profiles. This leads us to the age old question, which has been forced to the forefront again:

Why do women hide their age?

Now, let the discussion begin...



P.S. How many of you did I get by all that taking it "legit" gambit? OK, I will tell you the real story behind this... I woke from my siesta with a firm purpose of doing some completely non-sensical things. And that's where the idea was born.
That said, I would like some discussion...


*Note the fact that the number of users is cleverly left out.

Newsblast # 3

Remember Dr. J-dot Asthana, the Dean who was pitted against Munnabhai in his first outing? The person who used laughter therapy?

Now remember the (I think nameless) Principle of the college where Maj. Ram Prasad Sharma studied? The person who always mixed up his rank, and never understood his "mission" was secret?

Now read this line from (otherwise unexpectedly decent) feature on Boman Irani on Rediff, "Boman plays a similar role in Main Hoon Na, that of the principal of a college. Or at least we think it is similar, until the actor reveals his spin on the character."

And please somebody explain to me apart from the fact that the actor playing those characters is same, what is "similarity" in those two characters?

Weird Day for My Blog

Today was a crazy day for my blog. Bored at work, I decided to make some invisible changes to my blog(s). Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on the PC account having no administrative privileges and no pop ups allowed. Worst of all, there was no Firefox installed, so I had to work on IE.

So, there I was, jumping between 3-4 IE windows at a time (since no pop up links anywhere work), trying to cope with IE's habit of jumping to wrong window at wrong time and putting all the text you enter directly to address bar. Believe me, it is not good for your BP to enter some complicated thing in (you think) a text box, and on hitting enter, come face to face with 404 page or some weird sites with weirdest URLs.

All in all, the effect was à la the headless chicken getting in the way of the bull in china shop...

Luckily, being a software engineer, I had taken a backup of my template(s), and so, I am glad to see that everything is back in line now, with the changes which I finally succeeded in making having caused no major problems.

Living on the cutting edge of technology causes some nasty cuts ;)

More On Dating

One more post in our constant effort to educate the masses on fine techniques in dating and relationships... Here's a sound advise from Stephen Colbert, and this time it is not just for guys. (The first two minutes are not about the subject we are looking for, so fast forward to 1:30 if you want)

Newsblast... Once Again

Merriam-Webster mentions:

exile
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): ex·iled; ex·il·ing
>: to banish or expel from one's own country or home
synonym see BANISH


Compact Oxford Online Dictionary says:

exile
• noun 1 the state of being barred from one’s native country. 2 a person who lives in exile.
• verb expel and bar (someone) from their native country.
— ORIGIN Latin exilium ‘banishment’.


So, am I the only one who is afraid Ravana may pull a Sauron after reading this headline? Or maybe a Voldemort?

Blasted By News...

What's up with online news? Here are some of today's news headlines:

• PM visits train station where Gandhigiri began: (courtesy Rediff, where crazy discussions take place)
  Gandhigiri??? I mean, that word is all right (I guess,) in things (can't call it news, right) like "What works? Dadagiri or Gandhigiri?" . I mean, this is The Place where The History started, not a place where a movie was shot...
  Nothing against Munnabhai, that's a great movie, and containing for a change a good message (not to mention good songs). But when we are talking about a state visit to a place with historical importance on the world stage, shouldn't we be talking about Gandhism at least?
  Why don't they just go ahead and call it "Gandhigardi" like "Gundagardi"? That would at least be very western-friendly (which is supposedly new trend in Bollywood). They don't pronounce the H in his name anyways. It will be easy to tell them to change the syllables in gundagardi, way easy to pronounce, right?
  And the header on the news page reads, "PM at the place where Gandhi was pushed out". Gandhi was pushed out? Of What? From Where?
  Are all English graduates at Rediff on a holiday, or are they trying to save some money stinting on reporter staff?


• Dino Morea hasn’t achieved much: (courtesy Indiatimes Movies, yes I read it sometimes when I need a good laugh)
  It's a fashion now-a-days to bash Indiatimes. But on this, I must give some credit to them on two points.
  First: The headline is understated, and rouses people's interest in the news item (well, at least people like me, who want to see what this was about).
  Second: This was a news to me, I thought that Dino Moria hasn't achieved anything in Bollywood. I mean, just name three of his movies for me please...

On the positive note, next part of W.O.M.B.A.T. is up you-know-where. Go and get yourself graded....

Not Weird Day #3

Thanks guys for wishing me no weird day today. Today is good, with a bit of strong winds, and maybe a storm coming in (I can hear the thunder now). The weather is was cloudy today for whole day, not unlike yesterday, the perfect weather to go on a long drive in a car. The only difference between yesterday and today, yesterday the drive was needed because that was the only way to get any moving air at all, and today, the drive would be welcome just for the fun of it.

That reminds me, have you noticed after a speech, when the first person has clapped the first clap, and there's this awful suspense for a moment whether anybody would continue the clapping? Have you ever felt like you are living in that moment?

Ok, I admit. No connection between the two paragraphs, just two things which kept revolving in my head for last few days...

Bet when you wished a non-weird day for me, you didn't wish for non-weird me ;)

To compensate, here's a sneak peak at my latest crush. Go explore...

Weird Day # 2

I am still recovering from yesterday's weirdness, when another weird day hits me with all the subtlety of Peeves...

I woke up early in the morning for a change, so early in fact that I could finish my assignment easily before starting for college (which was good). But don't know how I spent time after that, because I was late for class again (which was bad).

When the class was supposed to start, I was at 1/3rd point, waiting for an interminable signal to turn green (yellow, to be precise). So, I got to class almost 10 minutes late (which was bad, even by my normal standards), but the class somehow started after I reached (which was good).

After the class, I went to get printouts of the assignments we were supposed to submit in lab. While writing my name on the assignments (don't ask why I write my name on printed assignment), I remembered that we were supposed to upload the assignments online, before lab starts in (checking watch) 10 minutes. So, rush out, get a place to sit, start the laptop, and upload the assignments.

We played with beads in the lab (to understand how mitosis and meiosis works) for crying out loud...

And if the day wanted any more weirdness, can you cap going to ATM machine with your wallet containing only some change and your card, and finding out that the machine has gone on blink?

Oh, and Google Reader has decided to add its two knuts... Suddenly I am able to see all the posts from blogs coming on top of my unread list (unread??? why???), one blog at a time from yesterday. Is blogger playing around with feeds, or is this just Google Reader?

Memory Revamp?

Normally, I find myself associating various incidences/people with songs or sometimes entire movies. Like RHTDM is associated with the trip our class had in our BE, because the movie was too famous right then (people actually bought the figurines on the trip which were like the figurine in the movie I remember).

Similarly, DCH is connected with memories of all of the Knights of The Round Table, sitting and watching the movie on my friend's PC. I can still remember exactly where everybody was sitting/sleeping, and what jokes we passed around as we had the dialogs by heart, having watched that movie about 1000 times before.

Each time I hear the song from either of these movies, I am reminded of these incidences...

Today I was listening to a song on my iPod, and suddenly my mind created the whole picture of the road we used to take to get back to our rooms from the office in Hyderabad, during our training. I can still see the whole picture even now, after about 3-4 hours.

But, the movie the song belonged to was released at least an year before I went for training, there wasn't any particular incident which I would associate with the song (the song being a sad romantic one did not help matter either).

So, what cross connection took place? Or my mind is undergoing a revamp, and so just threw on a random scene it found in front of my eyes? I am still trying to understand...

A Promi-Sorry Post

First Blogger (beta) kept me from commenting on some of the blogs, which took some time to solve.

Now, Google Reader has gone on a blink. So, I am not being kept up-to-date on updates to the blogs. I am relying mostly on my blogroll, which shows who have updated their blogs in last 24 hours (or at least, it is supposed to, but has some weird algo for it). But I am not able to check it quite as often as I like, and so, I may not be able to comment on some of the new posts, as I may not be aware of their existence.

Sorry for all people who (I wish) are/were waiting for my comments, I promise I will check the blogs more often, and will see what happened to Google Reader as soon as I get time.

And no jokes about "blind-sided" eagle please. Even if my eyesight is bit of a question right now, my talons are pretty much perfect...

Bracketed In Boredom

I love Orkut. I mean, ask my friends... I am normally online there, padik is the term my marathi-speaking friend(s?) will use. And let's face it, my contact with 90% people I know and am in contact with is due to Orkut (out of remaining, 5% is blogging).

Anyways, praising Orkut is not the point of this post. The point of this post is, as much as I love Orkut, there are some things I hate like anything there.

e.g. If I get the donut every time the server is refused one, I would have by now changed the orbit of earth single-handedly. And that's saying something, as unlike some of my friends, I cannot even change the direction in which a Luna is going.

Also, I need not mention the new type of spam there, "Join this community, join that community" etc. etc. Like all forwards, I forward requests to join a community only if I find it worthwhile and/or funny (to date, only "Sorry Shaktimaan" community holds the honour for obvious reasons).

And when I am looking for just fun on the communities there, I get drawn into crazy topics, (which provide fuel for posts like this and this). But today, after watching "The Colbert Report" (more about it later) for about 2-3 hours, spoiling for a debate (read fight), I go to check the communities, and I find... nothing. Nada, nüll, zip...

First I visited the community of my... err, community (the religious community/ caste I belong to would be better choice of words here I guess). It is normally useful for 1-2 good topics (not counting those where you are supposed to chose a rose for person above you) where you can really get your gloves out of the cupboard. But today, I find just one topic being debated ("Kissing in Public"), where the second post by the person who started the topic, mentioned that "It's a personal choice" and third one said, "[but]we should reach a common verdict, 100% yes or 100% no". And I am not in a mood to get into a non-debate just now...

And if anybody is keeping a score, I am sure about 50% of this post is in brackets [just goes to show how bored I am to count this statistics (that's 1, rather 2 more brackets now)]

Nostalgic....

Remember the days

• When watching a movie on VCR was a special event?


• When Aamir Khan was a chocolate Hero?


• When every boy dreamed of dancing in slow motion in tea farms?


• When cycle races were popular even though nobody had learned about Tour de France?

Yes, I recently got "Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikandar"...


And while we are nostalgic, does anybody remember the antics of a soldier (who didn't know the WWI was over for 20 years) and his buddy? Or what "hornophobia" or "hornmania" is? And how to milk a "G-O-Oat... Goat"?




P.S. If anybody got the references in last para, you are a person after my own heart...

There goes my last excuse...

And I thought I would tell you that this is why I don't update the blog as often as I want to...

On other hand, haha there to all my friends who say I am too lazy...

You Are 32% Slacker

You have a few slacker tendencies, but overall you tend not to slack. You know how to relax when the time is right, but you aren't lazy!

Are You a Slacker?

Marathi-Italy Bhai Bhai

There always has been a hypothesis that Marathis and Italians are connected genetically and linguistically. It dates back to the time when our ancestors realised that "Italy" seems to be derived from the word Vitthal (or Ittal colloquially) which is the name of a major god in marathi. Also, in recent times, there has been some research showing that driving habits of Italians and people in heartland of Marathi (Pune) are very similar.

But now, in a lucid moment when I woke up in the dawn yesterday, I have found an irrefutable proof that converts the hypothesis into theory. To wit:

• In marathi, the exclamation "Baap Re!" is commonly used one (The word baap means father in marathi.)


• The most common Italian expression we hear is "mamma mia". Now, consider the fact that mamma in Italian is "mother" (and also that kids worldwide are calling their mothers mamma now-a-days). Also, add to this that "mian" in hindi means "husband". So, the expression means, "Mother's Husband".... same as "Oh father!"

Eureka, amici!!!


Update:
Thanks to Iyer Education, we found a phenomenon not explained by our theory. On thinking about it, we have updated the theory...
Italians are maternal cousins with Marathis and paternal cousins with Sindhis. So, they share the name endings with parsis (though most common marathi name is Kulkarni, it is pronounced with "Ni", not "ni").
But, Italian is their mother-tongue after all, which supports the theory.

I guess we have plugged all holes in this theory now... Grazie, amico!!!

Associative Learning

One more recipe (or non-recipe if you would)...

Egg Fried Rice

Ingredients: Some eggs, Rice, Vegetables, any spices you want.

How not to make it:
DON'T add all the stuff together in a bowl and just put it in microwave. You will need to make the egg fry in a different pan, and rice in different bowl and add them together.



Now, my biology professor tells me, that by a process called "Associative Learning", I will next time (if I want to survive) be less lazy in cooking something new. And I will know that not all my new recipes work (unlike the famous Coffee-icecream).

But, let me tell you that Associative Learning doesn't survives first contact with nature. After lugging a bag full of folders, a laptop and a jacket around for 2 cloudy (and hot) days, I finally decide to lighten the load, and keep the jacket (which is in way every time I need to get anything out of my bag) home. Now, that's a classic example of Associative Learning, and adaption at large.

Result? You must have guessed it by now. The same as my eggs and rice fried together...

Priorities

I knew Ryen had some human traits. I guess he too is human after all (Ok, at least part human).

This is one more of the things that make us similar. I am missing my dear niece today.

P.S. More info on Ryen here. The current storyline starts here (actually here, but that might be a bit too much of background).

P.P.S. While we are on webcomics, here's a good tribute to 9/11.

Recipie( and a r)ant

Ever wondered what to do with the coffee remaining near the bottom of the pot, when it is a bit too less to drink with cream and sugar, and a bit too much to drink just like that before going to bed? Here's a recipie for you:

Coffee-Icecream

Ingredients: The irritatingly small amount of coffee, chocolate ice-cream

1. Take some chocolate icecream (vanilla might also work) in a bowl.
2. Pour the coffee over it, making sure you pour it uniformly over the ice-cream. (just for the heck of it)
3. Enjoy...



And while you are enjoying this, just ponder on why people send forwards? I mean, I enjoy good jokes/ good forwards, but the best way to ensure I will delete the mail ASAP is add the lines "Send this to n number of people and..." (Fill the blanks with anything). I am a tempter of fate, and I proudly attribute the fact that I am single, the girl(s?) I love have never called me, I have never got any Good News (note the caps) in under 5 minutes etc. to the fact that I never forward such mails.

Ok, to the point... I get two forwards from an acquaint. on Orkut today, the first a general one with the usual reminder and the other one stating that "Mumbai ICSE books mention Bhagat Singh etc. as terrorists" (Please to check, I doubt this highly). What got my goat about this was the last line in the mail said, "Please be a good Indian, and forward this to everybody instead of sending the usual love/fun forwards"

I guess this is one of the moments for Savepoint, right?

How Many Times

How many times

- Have you just gone on and on in "Rainbow Six", and realised after somebody shot you that you haven't saved the game for last half an hour?

- Have you passes treacherous traps, ran along the walls, swung across ropes and poles, dodged blades and saw-wheels, only to encounter so many sand creatures that you cannot kill them and reach the savepoint it opens (thus wasting the effort of 3 hours if you quit in frustration)?

- Have you gone on a perfect sortie, sunk more tunnage than ever, put a fish amidships the destroyer without getting spotted... then you come to periscope depth and get sunk by hitherto unknown destroyer which just cropped up, thus turning the perfectly executed mission, to all hands lost, just because you forgot to save, pushing your luck?

- Have you said something like, "Ok, I just heard what I said, and that sounded so crazy/mad/something totally unlike me"

- Have you clicked the "Send" button, and then felt the courage of sending the mail drain away, giving way to doubt?

- Have you pushed disconnect button on your cellphone, and immediately realising that that wasn't right?

So, I guess we agree with Ethan, we need savepoints in life...

That said, I need a savepoint before this post, because...

Now You Know

Now you know, why you read my blog. If you disagree with anything this says... well, I didn't say it.

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

How do you know...

How do you know you are extremely bored?

- You finish individual pieces of ice from your take-away glass from McDonalds, after you finish your coke, sucking each piece with the straw to the lip of glass and then eating it...




Totally out of context with this post, but somewhat connected to the previous one: Just read a quote, which about sums up...,

But then I guess I always built romances in my head better than in the world - Geographer's Library

For All Single Guys

In my endless search for perfect dating techniques (not to mention a date), I came across this great video. I loved it, because to paraphrase Joey, "what's not to like in that? Subject, good... Narration (aka tips)... Good... Rowan Atkinson... GOOD..."

Oh and by the way, any other tips are always welcome. [Of course, they don't mention anything about coffee, but that would be I guess in next lecture ;)]



P.S. Yes, chalk me up as another fan of YouTube.

Coffee Kick

My friend: hey do u mind if i can use some part of our conversation (in a blog)?
Me: sure...
My friend: hey thnx
Me: I dont hold copyrights on my chats
My friend: hehehehhehe
Me: though I wont mind royalty

I am sure I just killed the desire of 80% populace (whose few million brain cells just committed suicide) to chat with me forever.

Fleiger, that's what you get when you drink coffee brewed for 12 hours...

What Next?

"Tom and Jerry" is violent, and so it is now being rewritten to show that Tom and Jerry are friends, solving mysteries together. They are also cutting out the blackened faces after explosions. I think Tom and Jerry will be sitting in their sitting room (a la Poirot and Hastings?), without smoking, discussing their cases, rather than chasing after one another. My laughter just died.

Enid Blyton is racist and sexist. So, the books are now rewritten with the names considered sexist (By children? Really?) changed to more neutral ones. And I thought Enid Blyton was about reading about a bunch of kids like you fighting crime and solving mysteries, being patriotic, brave and loyal to friends. A part of me which likes to read kids' books just took last breath.

A psychologist in US says, characters like Hermione Granger in Harry Potter books are making girls more violent. So, a girl who endures sneers from her batch mates just because of her parentage for six years, and explodes only once (to punch the boy, when she can do much more damage easily) in those 6 years, is a "role model" for girls who join gangs and kill people? My belief in psychology has just been declared DOA.

Nursery rhymes are being re-evaluated. So, Humpty Dumpty does not break (or in another version is put back together), and a rainbow sheep says "ba ba" now. I know nursery rhymes are somewhat traumatic, but still...


So, what next are we looking at? Children's' books like this? I would trade a Famous Five story for this any time... and the only way a Harry Potter book would make me violent is when somebody keeps it away from me when I want to read it.

I don't know about you people, but I am going to risk my child being brought up sexist, racist and any other ist, but I want him to read Secret Seven, Famous Five, watch Tom and Jerry, have fun with nursery rhymes and fairy tales, and most of all learn about some values like friendship, loyalty and many more from Harry Potter.

After all, when Dumbledore says "It is our choices Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.", I may be wrong but I think he is not telling us that violence is the way to go.

Why Us?

When we were in 9th std., the school syllabus underwent a major change, and a lot of new things were included. And we were condemned to learn different types of domestic animals like bulls, cows, buffaloes, dinosaurs... (OK, maybe not dinosaurs).

Everybody learns types of vitamins, we learnt the diseases caused by lack and excess of it. Though that led to muchos fun... we had a friend, whom we used to stare at whenever teacher described a new disease, like he was a prime sample.

Anyways, to get back to the point (yes, there's a point to this post), after seeing one whole batch of student struggling with the animal lists (I mean, the students in city knew the difference between Buffalo and cow, not different types of them), the architecture of stables (we started with what is this thing) and the trauma caused by exposure to a lot of diseases at an impressionable age to us (we were not all going to be doctors you know), the whole part was dropped for next batch, and they went on with a reduced, healthy syllabus.

Now, the reason for my sudden bout of nostalgia (and nausea), is this post, and subsequent developments on that front. I mean, we used a few of our ever-decreasing memory storage for memorising the 9 planets, and now the next generation has need to only remember names of 8 (7 if this goes ahead).

Now that's what I call injustice...

We Are The Knights of The Round Table

Being a compilation of small incidents involving the Knights and those in our circle.


Two of my friends are waiting for the light to go green at one of the busiest squares in Pune. Signal goes green, but the uncle in front of them is not even seen trying to start his bike, and they are trapped in bumper-to-mudguard traffic. After waiting some time for the person to show some activity,

My Friend: Uncle, can you please go ahead? You won't get a better shade of green than this here.

-----------------------------

One of our Football Ignorant Friend (FIF) is watching World Cup with us and My Friend's Dad (MFD). There is a penalty from just outside of the box, and the team starts forming the wall.

FIF: Why are they holding hands there?
MFD (in all sincerity): So that they can make sure the person next to them does not run away when ball comes at him.

------------------------------

We are discussing with one of my friend's wife-to-be (WTB) that we won't be able attend their marriage as all of us three (out of group of 4) are out of town (and country, in my case) that month. She gets angry and

WTB: We won't attend your marriages now.
My friend: That's ok. We will just dangle a bone in front of him¹ , and he will come².
WTB: That's not correct...
Me: Yes, that's not correct. He is in ortho. We will need a broken bone.

------------------------------

We are discussing the looong lines to fill the engineering admission forms.

My friend: I was standing in one spot for so long, that my feet gathered lichen on them.

------------------------------

One of our friend's cell is erratic. She is telling me and my friend who is a captain in Army.

My friend: You won't be able to dial his number. The "9" key is broken.³
Captain: That's easy. Just dial 5 and then 4, or vice-versa...
Me: Spoken like a true Army Captain and a son of mathematician...

------------------------------

This can only happen on the round table... The Table has seen many such days, and will see many more in the years to come, when we know that "stomach splitting due to laughter" is not a fable.

We Are The Knights of The Round Table....


Footnotes:
1. Like the famed carrot in front of... you get it.
2. He is studying for his orthopaedic MD.
3. In India, all cell numbers start with 9.

Identity Crisis

Thank god, my interest in astronomy was around the time when we still had moons circulating planets and planets circulating stars.

Now, new planets are being added to the original list according to new definition, Ceres (earlier an asteroid), Xena (an object, whatever that may be) and Charon (Pluto's moon)

Does that mean that a planet (Charon) circles around a planet (Pluto)? Or does that mean we have a binary planet system (similar to binary stars) in our solar system? Crikey, those two must be facing quite an identity crisis...

I Wrote...

My Stories

(Sorry for "no comments" part on the stories site. Please leave comments on any of my posts or send me a mail with your feedback)

• On The Seventh Day


• Romeo and Juliet: The True Story


• Vairangad (Incomplete)

Quick Quotes Quill
Funny Quotes collected by me:

• Edition 1 - Sound Bytes


• Edition 2 - Quick Quotes Quill


• Edition 3 - Last Edition

The Knight Chronicles
The Exploits of The Knights of The Round Table:

• Introduction - Random Bits


• Chapter I - About Manners and Decorum


• Chapter II - Lucky Chap


• Chapter III - Luna( Gymnas)tics


• Chapter IV - The Legend of Pinocchio


• Chapter V - The History of Knight in Split-Pants


• Chapter VI - Knights in Swimsuits

Tags I Attempted

• 8 Random Facts about Me


• About Me


• About My Blog


• The Music Tag


• 4-A-Piece


• My First Five Tags


• Summer Tag

Webcomics I Read

• Ctrl-Alt-Del


• Garfield


• Least I Could Do


• PhD Comics


• Sinfest

The Amye Award Winners(TV Show Reviews)

For more on Amye Awards, read this.

• Brainiac


• Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister

Book(?)...err Scale

We felt a dire need of ranking books read by us. As most of these books lie in either bestseller or unheard of categories, the rankings you can get from the different lists is not reliable. (I mean, how can you differentiate between "Angels and Demons" and "A Song of Ice and Fire" given that both enjoy bestseller status with 4 to 5 stars each?)

So, the idea of creating our own book scale was brought to the table, seconded and agreed upon. After a lot of research, the select committee of a writer (me), an ex-chief editor of a magazine (again me) a reader (yes, me) and a book critique(got it?) decided on a scale of 1-10, calling it Book(?)...err Scale. (The sarcastic reference due to the unique critical sense of humour.) The actual count on the scale is decided by a complex formula which essentially calculates whether the book in question can be called a book at all (in layman's terms).

So, 1 on the Book(?)...err scale would be a book you can't put down (think of "Great Indian Novel"), and 10, by extension refers to a book(?) which you cannot put down, but need to throw down hard. (Tough competition between "A Song..." and "Executive Orders"). The inverted scale is again thanks to unique critical style.

Music lovers might think of the scale as going from Asha/Lata's songs (1), through the voices of Shaan, Lucky Ali (insert your favourites here), all the way down to Himmesh with a sore throat (10).

A rough guide to the BES:

• 0-1.5: Books you would take to Desert island, moon, Andromeda etc. etc.


• 1.5-3.0: Books you would take to Desert island, just that you would use them to light the fire in extreme conditions (even though it might break your heart)


• 3.0-5.0: Books you wouldn't mind picking up again in case there is nothing new


• 5.0-6.0: Neutral zone, Read them once, forget them if you want


• 6.0-7.5: Mildly irritating. Finish them just to see if they improve (or just to get every penny worth of reading)


• 7.5-10.0: Books you will take to desert island, because it's not easy to find wood on the island, and they would normally be easier to carry than wood anyways...

There are further plans to award the highest ranking (nearest to 10) book in the year "Book(?)...err Prize". The current books in the competition are (in alphabetical order):

• A Series of Unfortunate Events


• A Song of Ice and Fire


• Executive Orders

The committee would further like to take this opportunity in calling for candidates to serve on the committee from the fellow readers. The qualifications needed are that the person should be capable of reading and willing to read books.

Also, any other nominations for the "Book(?)...err Prize" are also welcome, preferably along with a short/long review.

Talons scrapping...

This is the blog where everything too small or too big to fit my main blog lands up... including background informations, links, jokes et al.

If talons scrape properly on the board, you get music. If scratched... I think you get it...