Oops Award Nominees

And, nominees for this week's Whoops Award are:

• Adam Gilchrist: For mentioning in his autobiography how Australians leave hostilities on the field. He then went on to call Sachin Tendulkar dishonest and a sour loser.


• Lalu Prasad Yadav: For threatening to suspend train movement in states where rail passengers and properties are repeatedly attacked, in light of fatal attack on an UP youth in Mumbai local.

The panel is leaning towards awarding both the nominees. Got any favourites?

Update: And, Gilli is going all out to win the award.

What's the magic word?

The cricketing world knows Australians for being to the point and honest to a fault. And being True Gentlemen, they don't shy away from apologizing even if it is not their mistake. Case in point:

Gilchrist called up Sachin Tendulkar today, and has reportedly apologised saying, 'Sorry'.

See, no wasted words, no flowery language. Short, pithy and to the point. And what brought about this heart-felt apology?

Gilchrist had called Sachin Tendulkar, names like a "liar", "dishonest", "a sore loser" and a "bad sport" in his soon-to-be published autobiography "True Colors of My Life", over the Harbhajan-Symonds controversy.

Man, he is not shying away from showing his true colors, is he now? What was that about "Australians leaving it all on the field", again?

I think he will add that as an appendix to the second edition of his book. Or maybe, there will be two editions of the book (like they have alternate endings for some movies and games), one with the apology and one with the original content. That right there is how you double your book-sales (which are already going to be doubled after this, so it's really 4 times the original).

And I can truly believe Gilchrist called Sachin and "asked for an apology" as the ToI article mentions in the last para. I mean, look at the nerve of the man, not confirming to how Gilchrist saw him from behind the stumps.

P.S. If that was too biased against Gilchrist, "Sorry".

Cue the hate comments...

First off, let me say that every Indian should celebrate Abhinav Bindra's gold medal and pat himself on back as much as we do every time Sachin breaks a record. After all, we had equal contribution in both.

And Chintoo sums up my feelings* nicely (as he has been doing for years).

But till someone explains to me what Abhinav Bindra's connection to Maharashtra is, I maintain that ET filed this news correctly under "Politics" section, and not under "Sports".

Let the comments calling me an unpatriotic regionalist begin...

Update: Pune and Pimpri-Chinchwad Municipal Coroprations join the bandwagon with Rs. 10 lakh and 5 lakh respectively. (sorry, links in marathi). Am I missing his Puneri connection? Somebody please educate me about this.



*Translation of the comic for those who don't know marathi:
Chintoo: I have decided which sport should I make my career in. I want to be like Abhinav Bindra. Of course, it will be confusing if India wins more medals. But I will like to be confused like this.

Kissa Cricket Ka Part III

Everybody who has played gully cricket in his life knows the Law of Elevation: If the ball reaches a stationary altitude above sea level which is different than the one you are playing at, it constitutes a wicket.



i.e. If you are playing on a small ground surrounded by buildings, anyone hitting the ball on a terrace/balcony is considered "out". And while playing on a terrace, any ball which reaches "ground level" is "out". And not just "out", the batsman has to go and get the ball...





Now, we were playing at my friend's place, on his terrace (the normal rules: below is out, touch is 1 run, no running needed and one-tup catch-out). After hitting a few shots which ricocheted off the terrace wall, and came back (and that's a six!!!), I got out, and my friend started batting.



First ball, a feather touch, dropped just near the legs, the ball meanders through the gap towards the boundary wall. We are almost sure the ball would not reach the wall, given its speed.



Now, I have already said, that cricket is a game of chance... and some people are even less lucky than a person hit by meteorite.



The ball somehow crawled to the wall. Now, as luck would have it, there was a slight curve at the edge between the terrace floor and the wall. The ball went up the curve gracefully, and in a slow-motion went over the wall...



Perhaps the first time in the history of The Game when the batsman wished somebody had fielded the ball before it reached the ropes... There were no printable words in the first reaction of the batsman...



Technorati Tags: jokes, cricket

Kissa Cricket Ka Part II

Cricket is a game of chance... and some days are just not your days... (more for some than others)



Same day. Same team. Same captain... different match.





Now all of the players of "gully cricket" know what is "First Over, Last Batting" rule: The bowler who bowls the first over goes in to bat last. The best batsmen are usually openers, followed by mediocre ones making up the middle. So, even though the opening bowler is all-rounder, he is relegated to take strike last.



So, the captain walks on the ground with 12 runs needed off 3-odd overs, and 1 wicket in hand (which converts to about 20 runs in 10 runs with 3-4 wickets in hand in ODI). Easy, right? All the other batsman (who was batting from middle order) had to do is to take a run and give the better one strike. Or stay put for 2 balls and let the "over-crossing" do his work for him.



1st ball: A mighty blow... caught in the deep.



Result: we won by 11 runs, with 3.2 overs to go... The captain (who was the best player for the job at the moment) has walked back and forth from the pitch within 2 minutes (faster than Maggie or Saurav Ganguli of last year), without facing a ball (unlike Ganguli of last year), and cursing his luck and his team.





Technorati Tags: cricket, jokes

Kissa KCricket Ka Part I

Sorry for that Karan KJoharsque mistake (can't call myself KEkta Kapoor, can I?)



While thinking about and writing the Summer tag (thanks Silverine), I realised that there were many reasons we played cricket. Who says we can only "enjoy" watching cricket? Playing it not just fun, but "fun".



Now, all who have played cricket on a big ground with a small group knows the value of "borrowed" fielder. Normally placed as wicket-keeper (mostly to retrieve wides), if the ground is big enough or team size is small enough, this member can be placed in more prominent positions.



Once, finding ourselves in such a position, we borrowed the best fielder from opposing team (their captain) and placed him somewhere between square-leg and mid-wicket. And within the first two balls, the ball was tracing a aerial trajectory with the speed of a particularly lazy snail towards him.





Now, the "borrowed" man always faces a dilemma. If you have some moral sense, you try particularly hard not to get called a cheater, and try to catch/field even the impossible balls, even though it goes against your "team spirit" (which is why you tell your team mates not to hit the ball in your direction). But moral or not, it is impossible to drop a ball which you can catch without moving a step. Score: 1/1.



I seriously think watching your team-mate field near your gives you a sense that this is a net practise, not a match. Because within next two overs, all 4 of the batsmen had almost literally dropped what we called "lollies" in their captain's lap. Score 10/4.



Cursing his luck (and his team-mates), the captain took the strike, and I replaced him from my favourite point position. I think you must have guessed by now what happened next?



Within next 3 deliveries, the ball was again traversing the now-familiar trajectory towards my waiting hands. Talk about "team spirit".



P.S. This marks century of posts on "Talons"...



Technorati Tags: jokes, cricket

It Had To Happen...

Two controversies. Two results. None unpredictable. One should be celebrated, the other will be.



Know what I am talking about?

• As all the Chess players and chess followers across the world knew, this had to happen sometime. I mean, given Viswanathan Anand's talent and record (as far as I remember, he is pretty consistent with one or two bad patches), it was more of a question "When" than "Will he".
  
  And after the Linares controversy is over, what matters is that Anand has achieved top spot in FIDE rankings.
  
  Now, I know this news will be interesting to only a small percentage of people in India, and more than probably will be drowned out by the other news... But here's to Anand, and may he remain in the position for a long time to come...



• After the recent World Cup performance, (on which I am not going to comment as per my vow) and all the controversies after that, it was just a question of time when this was going to happen. And I am thinking that probably right now, many people are celebrating that Chappell has resigned from his position.
  
  No further comments on that matter from my side...



• And while we are on the subject of Cricket and coaches, I was always under the impression that unlike Basketball or Football (the one played with foot and the one where you hold the ball and run), the role of coach was pretty limited once the team went on the ground to field, and the captain essentially took over.
  
  I mean, can anybody tell me why the captain should retire or be blamed after a bad team performance, if coaches are virtual masters of the team, as this seems to imply?

Technorati Tags: cricket, world cup, chess