Saturday, November 11, 2006

Tips To New Spammers

Recently, there has been a lot of new spam mails in my GMail account, which has forced me to think of what a great way of getting money/commission or whatever spammers (which apparently is not a word) get out of people. So, I am thinking of starting a new School for Spammers (since we all know what a profitable business schools are). And as regular readers (OK, readers) of my blog, I think you all deserve a sneak peak at our syllabus...

So, Spamming 101: Tips for New Spammers, which were gleaned after an in depth study of spam mails of today's era (the italics are commentary over the slides):

  • Check the name of the person you are sending mails to, and send mails to him in every name except his (I have been getting at least 4-5 mails every day, which has my name correct, and every surname except mine, though my surname is in my mail id)

  • Check the region the user has mail id in (like etc) and send him mail in languages he is least likely to know (I mean, mails in Chinese? Are you kidding me?)

  • Make extreme claims which even the stupidest person will not believe(Slightly, adult stuff here, but break logs? Is there any person who can believe that?)

  • Tell people that stocks nobody has ever heard of are going to be "next thing"(I am no stock market whiz, but the names they give, I would invest in Enron after the news came out)

  • Last but not the least, spelling is the last thing you should concentrate on(If there is even one 2 syllable word which is not misspelled...)

So,any takers for the course?


Cuckoo said...

Ha ha... how do you think of such ideas? I mean I also get spams but..
OK ok, you are one of those gifted types ;)

Break Logs ?? I didn't even understand it, let alone believing it ! Ok, treat me as the most stupid person of the world & I am happy. :P

P.S. - When are the classes starting?

niki yokota said...

this is hilarious! lol
i seldom get spams...
maybe i can translate ur chinese/japanese spams.

SiD said...

"make extreme claims.... "
amazingly.. I am getting those kinda mails from since I have had an email account.. I wonder if any one seees those mails???

Fleiger said...

@Cuckoo: Gifted types? The harbhare ka ped in our backyard just broke. Apparently I am not as light as I thought ;)
Classes will start as soon as I get enough students and money to put full page ads in national daily.

@Nikichan: Lucky you... you don't get enough spam.

@Sid: GMail is much better, you get like around 10 spam mails a day, which is much better than anyplace else.
Who reads it? subjects are funny enough. And *ahem* that breaking logs thing was for some kind of medicine, if you know what I mean :(

Keshi said...

LOL ur sooo funny!


Fleiger said...

@Keshi: The tree is already broken. So thank you :)

alex said...

LoL :)

Have i been late for the course? ;)

Fleiger said...

@Alex: Welcome... No, I am just pitching the idea and checking what is the response I will get. I think I can chalk one more student then?