I Hate This...

I am proud that I share my birthday with one of the greatest persons India has produced, who rose despite tremendous barriers in his path to become the Chairman of the committee which wrote Indian Constitution. (and I am aware that I have given away my birth date for one and all who know their civics)

But I am not proud of being Indian today if it means that some towns across India are burning because some antisocial elements did what they do best.

I am not sure whether this is one more argument against raising statues at every corner of India, or one more example of how politics is (is that correct grammar?) crazy, that the Deccan Queen burns when there is some problem in Kanpur. Have I been out of India for so long that Deccan Queen now takes a detour through Kanpur? And if it does, how can we call it "Deccan" Queen when it goes north?

Someone Pinch Me...

Taking Munnabhai's prescription seriously, the state education board has made it mandatory for government school students to begin their day with a "jaadu ki jhappi" for keeping stress at bay.

Please tell me this is not an Onion news item. I hope it is not. I am sure a good hug is the only solution to relieving the stress induced in schools. I mean, too much weight in the sac? Hug your friend. Got an exam coming up which "decides your future"? Hug your study group. It's so easy, I wonder why nobody thought of it before Munnabhai. But then, nobody thought of "Gandhigiri" before him. Now I know why education system in US or Europe is such highly appreciated. I mean, you can see hugging couples everywhere you go (even kissing).

I was going to suggest that this measure be included in colleges too, (I am sure it will work wonders in colleges, least of which is increasing the attendance in colleges), when I read this line

And to ensure that a hug doesn't lead to any problems, the board has also recommended that hugs will be exchanged only between same genders.

That line puts a huge damper on my plans for educational reforms in India.

(Better) Halfs???

Frankly, the word "Brangelina" reminds me more of Brandywine river than a celebrity couple. And now, we have one more in the line, "Abhiwariya". I am pretty sure that is as much a word as "Brangelina", which means I am pretty much sure that is not a word in any language known in this universe (I am not so sure about multiverse though). Did anybody remember newspaper headlines for "Amijaya" or "Dharmamalini"? I strongly doubt (but I think it looks even more stupid if the latter name is one or two syllables only).

Also, if we follow standard procedures of marriage, shouldn't it be "Aishshek" (or Aishek)? I mean, normally the bride takes the name of her husband, right? It does not happen other way round, right?

Which leads me to think that this might be a ploy of feminists to reverse the norms in order to gain "equality". If that is so, I implore those who came up with the idea to please consider how stupid it looks, and to focus on some other aspect of life to gain their ends.

Looking Forward To...

While I am not watching many movies lately, I mean, in theatres, there's a movie I am looking forward to watching next month (hope I can hitch a ride). The books are great (despite many claims to contrary), and if the movies are executed on the similar level to Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings trilogy (which the trailers lead me to believe it is), then this will be a treat to watch. The trailer is here:


And the book review is here.


Also, one more date I am looking forward to is 13th July, which is way away. We will get more trailers and (fingers crossed) title of the seventh book before that, but I sincerely hope that Harry Potter franchise gets back to its glory days of "Prisoner of Azkaban". I will hate to see another scene where Dumbledore looks so helpless (teaser trailer bodes pretty well though). Here's the teaser trailer for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix":


Hope I don't have to write a review for this series. On second thoughts, that's a thought...


P.S. 50th post here too... Many more to go before I "sleep"...

Random Things III

Back from Chicago, and school is scheduled to start tomorrow (does it have to?) So, now that I am trying to get ready for school tomorrow, I am also thinking that this blog which was started to put background posts and small posts is getting more and more posts about online news sites. Anyways, this is one more post in the series.

• In last few days, the Today's Highlight on Indiatimes site was "Partying finally takes its toll on Paris". I don't know how they choose the highlight, but my first thought after reading the headline was, this is "India"times right?
• Nothing problematic with this news, nor headline. In fact, this is one of the best double-meaning headlines I have ever heard (Yes, I do give credit where it is due). But I am wondering whether they meant Chinese or Hindi/Urdu or English when they wrote the piece? Given it is chinese president, I am pretty much sure it would be chinese.
  

Bollywood, Hollywood...

i.e. about two good Hollywood movies and their Indian counterparts....

1. A recommendation for all those people who remember who is Yeda Anna, Chhota Chhatri and not to mention, Guru Gulab Khatri... watch the original.
   "Awara, Pagal Deewana" is one of the comedy movies you enjoy for about 1-2 more times than normal hindi movies (i.e. you watch it about twice) for all the madcap madness going on. But believe me, "The Whole Nine Yards" is way better. It's not exactly a news that Matthew Perry is funny as usual, but other actors also do not let you down. If you have watched the hindi copy, you know the story, but even then the comedy timing of all the actors is too good to watch. Even the sequel is good, though not upto the first part.
   The only worry I had after watching this, hope Bollywood does not come out with a copy of "The Whole Ten Yards", maybe named "Awara, Pagal, Deewana, Aashiq"


2. One more good Matthew Perry movie is his latest one, "The Ron Clark Story". It is based on a real life story of a high school teacher who took on the toughest class in the toughest section of New York, and pulls their test grades above average. Matthew Perry can act serious too, you know, and act real good. The dedication of the teacher and the general story line reminded me of the marathi movie, "10 F". That movie too is about how with a dedicated teacher's help, a class of students generally considered pretty much "gundas" turn their lives over, and make a contribution.
   And when I say the marathi movie is not a copy, it's not just because my friend's brother acted in that movie, but the fact is that the movie came out in 2003. Also, the stories are slightly different. The Ron Clarke... is about how the teacher improves the class' attitude towards learning, and helps them rise from district's bottom class to the topmost class. In 10 F, the students trash the school after getting punished for a crime they didn't do, and the teacher helps them to earn money to repair everything, while helping them to continue their studies. Both movies, worth watching guys...

Recommended for all...

Random Things II

• Many Happy Returns of The Day to the most favourite marathi kid of all!!! For last 16 years, this kid has (actually not) grown with us all, and still continues to make us laugh with his pure childish innocence. And while we are at it, can somebody tell me how the 16 year old kid is still, you know, a kid? That's a secret I would love to know.


• What do you think when somebody says "wardrobe malfunction"? Definitely not that the person has lost the keys to his wardrobe, like said here. Why oh why do people continue to say things which are so silly, for lack of better (or worse, in this case) word?

Anyways, all those people who are wondering where I have been... I am in Chicago for Thanksgiving break. And I have been away making all arrangements at the last moment and then travelling. Will be back commenting on all my favourite blogs soon. Till then, keep commenting here...


P.S. Just for clearing some things up, the link for the second comment was sent by a forward-happy friend...

Grrr...

The days keep getting brighter. So, here is second in line of things which keep me saying "Grrr..." (in words of one of my friends)

1. I never knew Mahabharata happened less than 300 years ago. At least, that's what my calculations say, because apparently, Srikrishna was two and half year old 300 years ago.


2. I always thought James Bond was a Commander in Royal Navy. What I didn't know that he was an MBA with specialization in IT. Did the term IT even exist when Ian Fleming wrote Bond?

And finally, one thing which came closest to making me smile today. The 4th topmost search query for this blog is "Ghostess"...

Random Things...

1. Yahoo mail has feature which is very similar to Outlook. So, sometimes when you are dragging a mail to trash can, it opens in the preview window. So, I am dragging the mail with subject "Someone sexy wants to meet you". The content is one hyperlinked word, "Follow". My first thought is would have made a good topic for Spamming 201 course. Second thought is, why should I follow someone who wants to meet me, however sexy she is?
2. If I had money, I would have published this book. A definite best-seller if I am a judge...
   
3. Rediff has a poll as usual out which asks,"Who would you like to see out of Bigg Boss?" My answer... the "g" at the end of Big. What is that thing doing there? Sounds like mutated gene or something...
4. Indiatimes says that two actresses have "psychotic characters" in common. The similarities don't end there, one of them kills 10 people in the movie, the other has the hero assaying the same number of characters with her as villain. Am I stupid today or does that thing not make any kind of sense?
5. Rediff wants us to click photographs with cricket/sports personalities. When cricket become not a sport?

Am I cranky today? Did I wake up on wrong side of the bed? Didn't I get my early morning coffee today? Maybe...
Also, Blogger Dashboard took about 15 minutes to open. Go figure...

What makes an Office?

An almost incompetent boss who can easily hurt just about anybody unknowingly? A hot receptionist? A fun guy, who has (not so) secret crush on the receptionist? A guy who likes power, though he has none? A stuck up person or a dull person?

If you answered any of these questions with "Yes", read ahead...

I have found one more contender for Amye awards over the last few days. The Office is a mocumentary, where the camera follows people in a paper company. The series currently aired in US (the US version) is based on a 12 part series originally aired on BBC by the same name.

Now, I know I am in minority, but I believe US series (call it watered down or anything, but) has more moments of fun and drama than original UK series, which is much more serious. See for yourself the UK version:


and the US version:


Of course, it also helps that Pam Beesley is much cuter (not to mention hotter) than Dawn Tinsley (the actress is currently working in "Studio 60").

There's A Party Tonight...

Some people drink on Friday nights, some people have party on Saturday nights, and apparently, some Gods drink on Sunday nights...

When I read that news, these are the thoughts which came into my mind (in the order of appearance):

1. Finally, somebody is getting things historically correct in our country (after all, what is culture but things done historically). Believe me when I say that I have read Mahabharat, Ramayan in (almost) entirety, and there are many instances where gods drink varuni (also called somaras). Even in case of yadna-yaag, somaras was a part of offering apparently (which is why I always thought Gods drinking milk was crazy)


2. Why english liquor? It has to be against our culture.


3. But, isn't Sunday night a bad choice? I mean, drink on Friday and Saturday and you at least have a day to recover from hangover. I wouldn't want that to add to other Monday morning blues.


4. But then, God doesn't have to wake up and go to office on Monday morning, and he definitely does not have a class at 8:30 am on Monday.


5. Which explains why some people have bad Mondays. I mean, when the God is having cranky time, there is not much your guardian angel can do, right?

Tips To New Spammers

Recently, there has been a lot of new spam mails in my GMail account, which has forced me to think of what a great way of getting money/commission or whatever spammers (which apparently is not a word) get out of people. So, I am thinking of starting a new School for Spammers (since we all know what a profitable business schools are). And as regular readers (OK, readers) of my blog, I think you all deserve a sneak peak at our syllabus...

So, Spamming 101: Tips for New Spammers, which were gleaned after an in depth study of spam mails of today's era (the italics are commentary over the slides):

• Check the name of the person you are sending mails to, and send mails to him in every name except his (I have been getting at least 4-5 mails every day, which has my name correct, and every surname except mine, though my surname is in my mail id)


• Check the region the user has mail id in (like yahoo.co.in etc) and send him mail in languages he is least likely to know (I mean, mails in Chinese? Are you kidding me?)


• Make extreme claims which even the stupidest person will not believe(Slightly, adult stuff here, but break logs? Is there any person who can believe that?)


• Tell people that stocks nobody has ever heard of are going to be "next thing"(I am no stock market whiz, but the names they give, I would invest in Enron after the news came out)


• Last but not the least, spelling is the last thing you should concentrate on(If there is even one 2 syllable word which is not misspelled...)

So,any takers for the course?

God Is Not Exactly In Heaven, But Definitely Somewhere Very Close

What is the difference between a comedian and a great comedian? Picture a comedian doing a drunken scene (any person in hindi movies will do for this) and all the gestures, drunken laughs he does. Now picture all that coming in one line which is delivered in a single breath without pulling any faces or voices, "Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now. But legitimately. I had back surgery on Tuesday. L-5/S-1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? You bet." Great comedians can deliver lines which can floor you, with dead face...

If I had not had the traumatic experience of an exam today, I would be laughing and singing. God is not exactly in heaven, not all is well with the world, but some things are definitely going fine here...

If Matthew Perry's first line in any show is "I am on some medication right now, which I guess makes me not know where the chairs are" which comes after he falls down trying to sit on a chair, and if you have watched even one episode of Friends ever, you are sure to continue watching...

Connection between these three paragraphs? Got my hands on first 7 episodes of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" the day before yesterday, and have watched them at least twice after that. A great show, Perry is great as usual, though he is Matt here, not Chandler. Of course, the show is "drama" not "comedy", but then that guy can pull jokes from thin air, and make them stand. Apparently the show was going to be cancelled due to fall in viewership, but yesterday I heard it is going to continue (which is the reason for second para). Hope it gets the viewership it deserves and goes on beyond promised (till now) first season.



And from what I have seen till now, this is one strong contender for "Amye Awards". One more thing to watch for every week from now on.



P.S. My idea for the reality show in last post comes from hearing about reality shows in Studio 60 just before going to sleep...

The Best Reality Show Ever

We have had Fear Factor, where people face their fears. We have had Temptation Island, where people brave temptations in the form of... well, you get it.

But now, I have the idea for the greatest Reality Show (notice the caps) ever. I present...

*drum roll*
Temptation Factor...

The basic idea behind the show: place 4/5 ladies/females/girls in a house together, and the one who can be silent (that's facing fear for you) for the most amount of time, wins. The winner gets free coupons to shop in dress/saree stores (depending on the country) and jewellery shops.

And wait, that's not all. For all people who fear that the temptation to shop will win over the innate fear of silence, there's more. There's the temptation part, you know: at specific intervals, we will be feeding juicy bits of gossip about other girls to everybody. So, everybody will know one fact about all other girls, which is unknown to other girls (except the one about whom it is, of course).

I am sure this is one show which need not be limited to one country, without changing the concept in the least. And think of the rip-offs. We can have "saas-bahu" special, "desperate housewives" special, "sex and the city" special, "bollywood" special and what not (don't make me write any of those serial names again). And all this can be done in one season, can't expect one round to last long, can we?

And we can get the winner of the season to write a book, "How I Kept Silent Despite All", a surefire best-seller gift item (from husbands to their wives). Just the part of royalty from the books will be enough to float our own television channel.

TV award shows, here I come....

New Awards

We here at The Aerie Institute are always trying to find new ways to provide information to people who may or may not have access to it earlier. This includes public service announcements (from our Immunology department), or developing a new scale (from our Literature department) to provide a reliable basis for comparison of books we like (the definitive work on which is still in progress).

This time, our Media department has come up with a new idea to recognise the Great Television Serials we have watched over the time. And so, without any further ado, let me present to you,

*Drum Roll*


The Amye Awards for Excellence in Television Programming (known as The Amye Awards in short, pronounced Amy)




The awards will recognise the contribution of the television to improvement of human life. Since we at the Aerie believe in circular time, the awards will be presented without consideration of the time period in which the program was aired (which makes sense in current era of re-runs). Also, the award will be given to television programs in any area.

And, the first awards go to:

*Drum Roll with a close-up of all nominies*

• Brainiac - Science Abuse, and
  


• Yes Minister/Yes Prime Minister

Please join me in a standing ovation for the winners...



P.S. For all curious toms, the "e" at the end of name was added for numerological reasons.

So Much Negativity...

How do you know you have "arrived" on blog-scene? The conventional way is when your stat-counter ticks like clock, and/or you break into first 1000 in Blogstreet or other directories...
On the other hand, more than usually, you know it when (at least for female bloggers), you start getting spam comments (you know the kind I mean) on your blog.

Similarly, how do you know you are making some difference on wikipedia? Conventional way is when you get "barnstars" and/or pats on the back by administrators and fellow contributors.
On the other hand, more often than not, your contribution reflects in the number of time your user page is vandalised.

Is it just me, or is the whole world giving out negative vibes?

Yes, you guessed right, my user page on wikipedia was vandalised for the first time today.