Bollywood Bites V

Now that Hrithik Roshan has got "Best Actor in Leading role (Male)" award in Filmfare(s?), don't you think Abhishek and/or Uday should have got (at least) nominations for "Best Actor in Negative Role"? Would have been a tough fight for Saif...

Now I know why I didn't appreciate the movie that much. I had got my basics wrong. So stupid of me (imagine me hitting my open palm on my forehead, yahoo messenger users can refer to the emoticon "#-o")

And that counts pretty high on the "Topmost offenses a Bollywood film fan can commit" list. The punishment is watching all the Chopra camp movies, followed by all Karan Johars. (Hopefully I won't get the repeat offenders punishment of watching all the evening soaps from 7.30 to 12 on Star for one week). I need a lawyer, or I will start ktalking kin K's...

- For I am The Great Eagle...

Bollywood Bites IV

Had these in my Notebook for quite some time, so just trying to clear my system (I mean, account)...

• Threatening and much awaited in a single sentence? How true... (I meant the "threatening" part)


• Cartoons make normal laws of science not applicable (remember that the gravity only applies if the person/animal looks down, just to give an example). Given that, I don't think Rajnikant in an animation movie is exactly a "news". (But I guess they are talking about films where the characters are drawn)


• Ever seen a headline meaning something entirely different, and the news turns out to be completely commonplace? This is one of such cases.


• Only the fear of bald patches (from scratching my head, what did you think I meant?) keeps me from trying to figure out the meaning of first para in this piece. I mean, even a fool does not ask a person holding a mike about wafers. (It's that wafers part that I can't get. Why not something else, like beer or samosas?)
  And does the last 2 lines of second para mean what I think they mean? (OK, I give up...)

- For I am The Great Eagle...

Blacklisted Part II

Now let me clear one thing once and for all: I loved the movie "Lage Raho Munnabhai". Given the track record of sequels in Bollywood (OK, I didn't say "Dhoom 2", did I?), the movie sets a precedent, which I hope will continue.

Still, I am putting the word "Gandhigiri" on my blacklist, for the sheer misuse the word is being put to. Though there are proper and dignified words like "Gandhian Philosophy" which fit here, I would have made my peace even if the piece used the word "Gandhism". I mean, the fact that the word was used by Munna"bhai" and his gang should signal that it should not be used for reporting the news like this, shouldn't it?

And I do hope something nice comes out of the project...



- For I am The Great Eagle...

P.S. Previous words on Blacklist: Any word which portrays pairs into one word.

The Fount of Knowledge Part I

These being the words of The Great Eagle... As promised, first in the series of the posts which will reveal the true meaning of life. Following the advise in these posts will be advantageous in this and next life (the complete list of "Things You Will Get" is being compiled, sorry).

Yesterday, I got an epiphany while I was reading the following lines:

"Ba (character) and ka (life force) had to find each other and unite in underworld as Ra journeyed each night through it..."

Now, let me take a break here to tell you that I didn't get this on top of a mountain or below a tree, but in a book... (Now back to original programming)

The realization hit me at that point: God sent us humans to earth to make a bakara (the MTV kind, not Capra aegagrus hircus) out of us. The ones who know this try and find the hidden cameras. Others flounder before someone shows them the (flash)light.



- For I am The Great Eagle...

Maa... Mein Aa Gaya...

To be read as "I've Arrived" and not as "I am here" (and not be be asked "arrived where?" or "here where?")

There are different ways you can know that you have "arrived" in blogosphere. Some people know it when others start copying their art. Other know when they break into top 100 on Blogstreet. Some others know when they are nominated for (or get) awards. My way has been different. After all, it's the destination that matters, not the journey, right (or something like that)?

Whenever I find myself bored, the one way to come back on track I have found is to go through "search terms" people use to get on my blog (please milord , I will prove a connection between these two paragraphs). Though there are no "such" search terms I have found in the list, but it is nice entertainment to know what things people search for (and a nice ego boost to find your blog in top 5 on anything).

And so, when you see that your blog is one of the top five people reach when they search for "definite answer" on Google (there are such people, I know), you know you have broken through the top ranks of people on this earth (and not just blogosphere). And which has prompted me to add a line to the description of my blog, "Providing the "Definite Answer" from Sept 2006".

So, don't be surprised when I start sprouting fountains of Knowledge (concentrate on the capital K, which will keep you away from the disturbing pun and imagery) or zen-like philosophical posts. After all, apart from this proof, I am almost an octogenarian by now (in terms of posts on this blog, I mean).



- For I am The Great Eagle...


P.S. There's more to it than just "42" you know...

Luna( Gymnas)tics

(Satyaghatana pe adharit)

Once upon a time, we were standing outside one of our friends' houses on the road and talking. We observed a young man (from some garage most probably) driving a kinetic luna (the vehicle my generation would be very familiar with). Suddenly, in the middle of the road, the seat of his vehicle dropped on the ground.

Since the luna wasn't going at the breakneck speed, he easily survived the fall without any injury. But now, he was presented with a very bad problem, how to continue his journey with the fallen seat? After some scratching of the head, he hit upon the idea.

He set the seat back in its place, sat in the depression between the petrol tank and the seat, and continued onwards...

We watched all this in silence, and then COTRL (collapsed on the road laughing)...


Here's some 3000 words which will give you a rough idea of what happened.



Now you know what your manager (or management prof) means when he says "thinking by the seat of the pants"...



- For I am The Great Eagle...


P.S. Who knew my artistic talents stretched as far as creating comic strips.... Mwahahaha!!!!

Bollywood Bites III

• Can we expect an item on news-sites on how one of these girls had an "out of the world experience" on V-Day? (That was a nice joke even if I say it myself)


• < naughty part >We like big. < / naughty part >


• I promised, and I tried to keep my promise. But I couldn't sit by and watch Aish change religions (how else can this be possible?). That said, I shudder to think about the reams of paper now being printed with theories about who will catch the bouquet (and no, this is not a reverse psychology thingie).


• Old news this, but I assume that the first question was not a naughty one like I think it is and I praise both Rani and Kajol for having proper answers to Q. 3 (though Rani scores there). But, most of all, I still keep wondering whether Dev Saran was the name DJ would have had in his unrealized future (Sorry Sid, but you may expect more on this) or how Bhuvan would have looked dropping on the cricket ground in whirl of helicopter blades, wearing black cricket gear (and called Rahul or Raj instead of Bhuvan).

- For I am The Great Eagle...

Countdown to 14th Part III

With The Day arriving, I am sure many of us are waiting to give our hearts to our beloved(s?).

So, all of us must be looking forward to ways in which we can keep our hearts healthy. I mean, can't give her (or 'him' for the girls reading this) a defective piece as gift, can you? Think what will that do to your chances to "score"!!! (This might be another argument for people to quit smoking. I guess I should sell this idea to anti-smoking lobby, right?)

So, a public service post... one more way to keep your heart healthy.

As for me, any study which supports any kind of sleep is always welcome...



- For I am The Great Eagle...

Countdown to 14th Part II

Rediff "News" section (don't ask me why) has a headline called "How to score on Valentine's Day", on clicking which, you land at this page.

Now, as I already said in Part I, and as my prof confirmed today, reading over the weekly quizzes will help me score in my test on 14th, and I am doing just that right now.

Then again, I know I am pretty much anari when it comes to matters of heart as I have been told over the ages (that would be ages- 15 to current). But I am pretty sure knowing the fact that none of Bollywood couples in Q.10 are in the movie "Traffic Signal" (either singly or in couple format) is not going to help me "score" on Valentine's Day.

So, I am going back to read about Linked Lists, Recurrence relations and all that stuff...



- For I am The Great Eagle...

Countdown to 14th Part I

14th Feb is here, and I shall let you in on a secret... there are some sparks flying around here.

I shall let you in on another secret too... those two lines don't have any connection whatsoever with each other.

But seriously, how I miss the long past days when I could touch any metal surface with immunity. I am really looking forward to the days when the first thing I do after reaching library is something else than recoiling from the cupboard like I had an electric shock (on second thoughts, forget the "like" and put in "because"). This static electricity thing is bugging me so much, that I literally crackle when I move. I am normally carrying enough electricity on my body to (take your pick) a)power our whole house for a day or b)blow all fuses for the whole apartment building or c)bring the statue of Tesla in our library to life by touching it (and ain't that fitting). I have seen enough sparks flying through my fingers in last few days (literally... they are blue in color), that if we were using the aforem. expression, then we would be hard pressed to find a "single" organism on any planet in solar system.

I can really empathize with Zeus, Thor, Indra and other assorted beings. They have much larger voltages to contend with...



- For I am The Great Eagle...



P.S. For all people whose curiosity I have raised, I have a mid-term scheduled for 14th. There... that takes care of all my plans for the day.

Lucky Chap...

One of my friends sent me a mail about DCH, which triggered an old memory.

Some days after DCH was released, we watched Speed and DCH back to back in my friend's house. Now, watching DCH was not an event then, because by that time we had memorized almost the entire movie. Anyways, this movie marathon resulted in our recognizing that the movie running inside DCH (while Akash's blue-black eye is being praised) is Speed. Anyways, the post is not about this...

The people who have watched Speed may remember that almost at the end of movie, Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are trying to escape the speeding bus by means of a board, lying on top of each other. Of course, we boys erupted in comments like "lucky chap" etc. But the comment which took the cake was, "ani pudhe bumps ahet" ("there are bumps ahead").

My friend recons that the ability of his shoulder to predict rains and cold weather is dates back to this day, specifically to the pummeling he got from the girls on account of this comment.



- For I am The Great Eagle...



S.P. For all those still scratching there heads and wondering why this is funny, think of why you (or your friends, which is more likely if you really didn't figure it out) speed over potholes or speed breakers when you have a girl riding pillion. Then think of doing this when the girl is lying on top of you. And then think why I had to explain the joke to you.

Bollywood Bites II

• All music lovers in India, rejoice!!! (Silverine, you may need to look into new forms of torture)


• The reviews of "Traffic Signal" are not too promising. But then, who cares for a traffic signal in India? Talk about unfortunate choice of title...

- For I am The Great Eagle...