The Fount of Knowledge Part III

An excerpt from my upcoming book, "Fleiger and The Art of Computer Maintenance". This chapter shows how maintenance your computer is necessary to your public (or rather, web) image.

So, you have got yourself a new computer, a new blog, registered on a public forum and are ready to make an impact in today's world of Web 2.0? But keep in mind that as with any other profession/hobby, the tools of the trade must be top-notch if you want to impress other or simply get the maximum profit or fun out of the activity. Towards that end, keeping your computer spic and span is the most important thing you will do in your web experience.

Let's start with the keyboard, your "mouthpiece" on the web. As you have heard the importance of "oral hygiene" many times, I think it should not come as a surprise that I am going to talk about keeping your keys clean...

1. Caps Lock: A quite big key (mostly) placed on the left hand side, near the alphabet "A". All this makes it the key which is most likely to get stuck (how many times have you found out that you are typing something which involves "A", and find suddenly that everything you type is coming up in upper-case?). But remember, when somebody sees you comment/write something all in upper-case, they are going to be as impressed as when you stand on a podium with a large green spinach leaf in your front teeth.


2. Shift: The key below "Caps Lock", so it is often the one key which is most ignored. The key makes it possible to insert punctuation marks (see below) and make "selected" letters upper-case (key word being "selected"). This makes this key one of the most important to be used for the correct and grammatical writing. Now I am not the first person to talk about the importance of grammar, and I will not be the last. Well, just think of the difference between "he" and "He" (Hint: the same as calling the President of a company clerk).


3. Punctuation Keys: These keys (including full stop, comma, exclamation mark etc.) are spread throughout the keyboard, which makes it very hard to use if you want to type something quickly (and some of these need Shift key, making it doubly hard). But of course, as I said before, they make it easier for others to understand what you are saying, don't they? So, as much as I like the convenience of fast writing (smsese, as I have heard some people call it), doesn't somebody saying, "paneermutteraloomuttergobimutter" make you long for a menu card which tells you, "Paneer Mutter, Aloo Mutter, Gobi Mutter"?

Of course, Shift and Punctuation keys are also prone to get stuck with overuse, so it is also important to clean the keys as much as it is to use it.

Next chapter: "Grammar and Spelling: When It Is OK to Ignore Them?"

Know anything I have missed? Want me to include any more chapters/parts in the chapter? Any comments on this chapter (or any mistakes I have made)?

The book will be published as soon as my keyboard stops putting ellipsis in place of every other full-stop (which is making the book trifle long than my publishers want to pay for)...

Deathly Hallows Covers Announced...

UPDATE:changed some points based on comments

Probably the second biggest news of this year (of course, the biggest was when the date of publication was announced)... The covers for "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" are out.








(For those not able to see the images: Check this post out.)

My Thoughts?

1. The locket on the adult UK edition is definitely Slytherin's (so it is a horcrux). We haven't "seen" any other horcrux. So why this?


2. The UK children's version shows Hogwarts (think so) at the back. So Hogwarts should make at least a guest appearance, despite what the "jacket description" says (or does not say, to be precise).


3. The "jacket description" does not mention anything about the quest. In fact, I guess this is the least informative jacket ever seen on Harry Potter books.


4. Why is Ron Dobby (at least I don't think any other house-elf will help Harry so much) holding The Sword? Is the sword a horcrux after all? If not, where did they get it from and why? And why none of them are wearing school robes? Is the thing they are "spilling" from "Helga's cup"? (Looks like it, doesn't it?)


5. What is Prongs doing on the jacket?


6. The US Childrens' edition cover is highly interesting. The person Harry is facing must be is (confirmed by Scholastic) Lord Voldemort. The scenery looks almost like an arena (given the arrangement behind them) or a stage (given the drapes on two sides). Is that the "Veil Room" again? (I know the last confontration is expected to happen in Godric's Hollow, but the background doesn't look like any house to me, that's why...) Are the odd shadows in the background death-eaters? Given their expressions, is Harry "accio"ing something?

Given the history of Harry Potter on this blog, I am pretty sure this will be the end of discussion here. So please prove me wrong, and I beg all the hidden Harry Potter fans to comment...


- For I am The Great Eagle...

P.S. For more on Harry Potter, check my review of the series.

The Legend of Pinocchio

The trek to Kille Rajgad (taken up by all but one regular Knights, plus one squire) is one of the memories we knights will remember till eternity. The torrential rains, the green countryside, great locations and greatest friends made this trek one of those places/times which are mentioned every time we meet.

This was also the trek where "The Legend of Pinocchio" was born...


The Distress

This being a 2 day-trek, we carried lunch for one time, and raw materials to cook for all other meals, with the help of stove we carried. Now those of you who have used (or at least tried to use) a kerosene stove, know that lighting it is an art, the most essential tool for that being a pin to clean the holes. Of course, since the tasks were distributed, we ended up carrying 3 pins, none of which fit the stove in question.

The Knight in Split Pants to The Rescue

Those of you who are "trekkies" will know that at the camp sites with at least semi-permanent dwellings (in this case a temple), people often leave things which fellow-travellers will find useful, like extra matchboxes, a packet of kerosene, stove-pins etc. So, it fell upon us to search the nooks and crannies of the (by that time) dark temple. It was in this quest, that out guest squire in his Split Pants (dubbed so because of a wardrobe malfunction, more about it later) proved his worth.


He never returned from a round of temple pin-less. In all his rounds, he found more than a dozen pins, (often in or near the places others had looked) leaving the rest three of us (combined) behind by at least half a dozen. His exploits prompted us to dub him on the spot as "Sir Pin-occhio, The Seeker of Pins", a name which he proudly carries to date (or at least, we persist in calling him that).

Of course, as all the followers of Saint Murphy would guess, none of those pins would fit the stove, and we had to cut our trip short, spending remaining time on milk-powder added to cold water and raw maggie noodles.



- For I am The Great Eagle...

P.S. For mre about "Knights of The Round Table", click on "Round Table" in the "Labels" links.

This Week by Fleiger

Planning to make this into a weekly series, where you can get information about the changes I've made on my blogs in that week and other interesting happenings. So, without further ado,

*introductory music*

• Template Changes: As I said before, I have changed both of my blogs into 3-column templates and introduced "post-summary". Also, details of the recent comments will be shown in sidebar from now on. The results are awaited. For other changes, check this post out.


• Request: I'm still not completely satisfied with the current template. Any suggestions for a nice templates, where I can put the "Contact info", "Top of..." etc. in a prominent position?

*Commercial break*

• Jasoos series: The series continues to grow. I have also added that links to the series in my "I wrote..." page.


• Poll: Do you think adding links to websites or Wikipedia articles about the detectives in the series would be better? If yes, please to vote in the poll in left sidebar or leave a comment.


• Tops: The "Top Of..." section is proving to be interesting. I didn't know that the top 2 articles in my main blog contribute about 7% of the entire traffic on my blog. So as I said, even though there is a stiff competition between those two, they have left others far behind, which means there will be very few changes at the "Top".

*Special music*

• Coming up: My main blog's second b'day is coming up. Any suggestions for a nice gift to a 2-yr old blog?

- For I am The Great Eagle...

A Joke, Renewed

As I said, there is a new twist to the old joke (So don't hit me before reading the entire thing).

A German, a Japanese and an Indian, decide to show off their country's achievements.

The German produces a perfect working model of a Porsche. The Japanese adds a great electronic navigation and remote-control system to the car.

The Indian scratches his head for some time, and then sticks a "Made in India" tag to the remote and the car.

Just when the German and Japanese are looking daggers at the triumphant Indian, a Chinese guy gives each of them a perfect copy of the car (right down to the tag), and tells them, "Keep it, I already sold 300 of these for hundredth of your price."

I guess the joke must be told like this henceforth, because this must count as a "Height of Counterfeiting" (hey, there is another joke for you).


- For I am The Great Eagle...