Hallows = Relics

Given that "Hallows" is not easily translated, and that Harry Potter books are translated into many languages, there's a good news for us. We now know (or at least I think) that Hallows are things, not place/places.


Since "Deathly Hallows" cannot be easily tranlated in Swedish, JKR and publishers have gives us the alternate title, "Harry Potter and the Relics of Death". So, not we know that Hallows are "relics", which means they are things, not places as we assumed.

Now, don't blame me if my dreams contain the trio tagging along with Prof. Sydney Fox and Nigel on a relic hunt. (Yes, I have been watching "Relic Hunter" lately).

P.S. Do you know anybody who has shifted back to IE from firefox? Due to some mysterious script which refuses to die, now you know (at least temperorily).

Newsblast #7

a.k.a. It's "H-allows", not "G-allows" (to be said in your best "Philosopher's Stone" Hermione accent)


First things first, it is only the mild manners of Harry Potter fans which has saved ToI columnist Indira Rodericks from any Crucio's and even Avada Kedavra's coming her way. Otherwise, I cannot think of any fitting punishment for mentioning (twice, not once, but twice) the name of HP7 as "Deathly Gallows" in the same article.

Also, regarding the news item, let me let you in on a secret regarding the "pirated script".


I have seen three or four different versions of so-called "Deathly Hallows" ebooks. Except one, even a person who hasn't heard of a person called JKR (i.e. a modern-day Robinson Crusoe, or a person who has just stepped off the spaceship from the other end of universe) can tell that these so-called "pirated books" cannot possible be written by the great author.

The only version which may confuse non-fans at the start is written as a fan-fic, actually called "Seventh Horcrux", and the author of that book is trying her best to instruct people about the fact (more power to her). So, if somebody sends you a link to a ebook called "Deathly Hallows" which sounds like written by JKR but has some *ahem* teen themes in it, remember it is called "Seventh Horcrux".

And if somebody sends you a link to a book called "Deathly Gallows", just delete it without even opening the mail, even if it is sent to you by your alter-ego, because how can the person who cannot get the name correct, get his hands on the actual book?

And I think this will be a best place to tell people about my policy for spoiler-"pirated early version" etc. kind of mails.

• First, anybody sending me a early version with a misplaced sense of anything: I might take a look at the book, and even enjoy it if it is good. But if it really turns out to be The Book later on, it will be taken as spoiler (read next point for spoiler), because though impatient to get my hands on the book, I am perfectly content to stay put till the official release date.
  


• Anybody sending me unofficial spoilers (i.e. those not given out by JKR or publishers) should better get himself a berth on the Black Pearl, as the "end of the world" will possibly be only semi-safe place for him/her (and I am not guaranteeing that he will be safe there either).

So there...

Once again folks, it is "Hallows", not "Gallows" (think Kannad if you are confused)... and I haven't seen any ebook which can touch the inimitable style of JKR yet (and won't tell you even if I find it before The DH-Day).


Technorati Tags: news, Harry Potter

ROFL In Translation

Now, all the people who know me (or read this blog) know that I am a follower of "Lost in Translation" cult i.e. though I don't begrudge people watching translated/subtitled movies (and I have watched a few movies in languages I don't understand because of the miracle that is subtitles), I do believe that more often than not, the process if not carried out properly does result in a lot of unintentional jokes or gaffes.



Take today's example[1]. While I was watching the latest episode of "Ravan"[2], the powers-that-b(roadcast) decreed in all their wisdom that watching a kid sprout words like "आसमंत, कृपया" and the overall over-acting[3] was not enough fun in their own accord, and there was some more jokes needed to push me over the edge.





Now, even though the episode was in Hindi, somehow there were English subtitles coming up in the lower part of the screen. In such cases, it is always a game for me to watch the case of mis-translations or dropped "deeper meanings" in phrases. But, this time I didn't need to look for any deeper meanings.



The episode had something about Pishachch[4]. And while the kids were sprouting lines about pishachch, the subtitles[5] were talking about "pistachios". If I could stomach[6] the lines like "They have taken control over the pistachios", and "Damn the Pistachios", the line which really cracked me up[7] was,

"They take children from the nearby villages and feed them to pistachios."

Talk about the food becoming the eater... Is that what they mean by "feedback" now?



[1] I think there is something wrong in that sentence.

[2] Hey, a guy needs his fun.

[3] Or no-acting, as the case may be.

[4] A kind of lowly spirit, purportedly controlled by Shankar.

[5] I fervently hope that it was machine translation.

[6] Yes, that was a pun. More where that came from.

[7] Told you, there were more puns on the way.





P.S. To prove that this was not an isolated episode, George talks about more such "subtitillations".

Newsblast #6

a.k.a. Purana maal le lo bhai... (Or, Old News, New Comments)



Well, the old goat-footed, pointy-tailed, horned Bad Boy has come down with a heavy head cold. People in many localities are trying to recover from aerial attacks of porcine nature. Otherwise there is peace and prosperity in every corner of the earth and India is finally completely free from corruption.



Only this can account for the one piece of news I read recently.





How else can we account for the fact that India-Pakistan-South Africa series due to take place in June-July has found no sponsors? Yes, you read that correctly. India... Pakistan... Cricket... ODI series. And (sit down now), no companies coming forward to sponsor the series. What next? Ashes with no sponsors? Real Madrid and Gunners working on charity?



If the aforem. reasons are not true, there are only two things I can think of

1. The Great Indian Postal Service has finally ground to halt completely (assuming the tenders come through the Post), or somebody in Kohima or Imphal has woken up to find an avalanche of tenders in their letter-box (BCCI meets in Mumbai, remember?).



2. Nah, can't think of anything else. This point is here just because every "a" has to have a "b".

While we are on the cricket (or rather, something close to cricket), 2003 was a blouse (links appreciated), 2007 was a saree. Now, while BVIFOMM rejoices over the fact that nothing is worn over the saree (and hence we have run out of scandal clothes), SVIBOMM shudders to think what will come in 2011.





P.S. BVIFOMM: Big Voice In the Front of My Mind

SVIBOMM: Small Voice In the Back of My Mind (both pronunciations rhyme with Sweden)



P.P.S. Click "Newsblast" for more on this series.





Technorati Tags: news, cricket, World Cup, India, Pakistan

Bollywood Bites IX

a. k. a. Roti, Kapda, Makaan aur...



This interview by the Emraan "I-must-have-kissed-more-than-20" Kissmi, apart from giving me a healthy dose of inferiority complex, did open my eyes to one or two important things I have been missing in my life.



But that is not all. I have also found out that far from being a "well-adjusted" person I thought I was, I have also been depraved of one of the most basic needs of man.





For one, if "being a skirt-chaser is normal", I need a heavy dose of ye olde soul-searcher for being such an abnormal person till now. I mean, I want to be a "normal, well, adjusted" human being after all. But being a novice, a small voice in the back of my mind (called SVIBOMM from now on) keeps asking "Normal for what species?" and "What kind of skirts can we chase? Those on clothes-lines or those on display windows in shops?" and "Does chasing mini-skirts count as a crime against minor?" (Any help in this direction would be appreciated).



And then, for all those who thought getting "roti, kapda aur makaan" (food, clothes and shelter, for Bollywood-ignorant amongst you) and maybe some nice cars and gadgets was enough to fulfil all your needs, this Prophet of Kisses has an eye-opener. (Check out the last line on this page for details)



Now, SVIBOMM continues, "How do we know when we have fulfilled this need?", "Can we count 'abstinence' as a kind of weapon on the same level as hunger strike?" and most important of all, "If UNO and charitable institutes help the people who can't fulfil their needs like food, are there any organisations who help p&*#-depraved?"





P.S. Click "Bollywood Bites" for other posts in this series.



Technorati Tags: bollywood, emraan hashmi, porn,

Rejoice, Ye All Fans

As July 21st approaches, All Harry Potter fans (the two active ones, two yet-to-come-out and five lurkers on this blog included) are going to be torn between two conflicting emotions. For one, last book in the Harry Potter series. That has to be is the biggest news (Amazon pre-orders confirm that), and I for one cannot wait to finish the book in one sitting, starting the moment I get my hands on it.

On the other hand, given JKR's reported desire that the series will be wrapped up so that there will be no more "sequels", apart from movies, this is The Last One. Even though I agree with JKR given the "success" (or lack thereof) of the famous characters being resurrected (except Holmes, who was brought back to life, but the nature of character didn't make it impossible like Harry Potter), this is the last book we can look forward to.

Or at least, that was the status till now...


But, now it is being reported that JKR might come true on her promise (or rather, possibility of plan) of writing something like "Hogwarts: A History". Of course, the book might not be named that, but an encyclopaedia of Harry Potter world will be... for lack of better words, The Book You Have To Buy. The book might be published for charity (like "Quiddich through the ages" and "Fantastic Beasts..."), so there is one more reason to buy it for those vacillating.

So, keep all your fingers crossed, and I promise if the book comes out, Hermione will not be the only one who has read "Hogwarts: A History".




Technorati Tags: Harry Potter, News,

Bollywood Bites VIII

a.k.a. "Makad Manav 3, Bhojpuri ma" (Spider-Man 3 in Bhojpuri, for Bhojpuri-challenged)

Not strictly a Bollywood news, but it seems Spider-Man 3 is being released across India dubbed in all Indian languages and dialects. And seems one of those languages is Bhojpuri. This video, along with the news just made my day (or rather, I will be laughing in my sleep now). "amar tera badala lekar rahin, Peter"... Really...


I have never been a dubbed movie fan. My earliest *shudder* moment with dubbing can be traced back to Alan Grant shouting "woh dekho badi chhipkali!" (sorry guys, translating that to english will just take away all the fun), and since then I run away faster than a speeding ornithomimid from any theatre showing dubbed movie.

Now, before any puter lycopersica (-cums?) come my way, I am (perhaps too) proud of my mother tongue Marathi, and don't think every single person should know English. So, while I don't begrudge the people who don't understand English listening to Spider-Man say, "Hum makad manav hain, ud kar aayab aur tohar tetuwa dabaa deb (I'm Spiderman, I'll fly to you and throttle you)", don't get angry when my reaction is


While we are on the subject of Makad Manav, I think they took the "Makad" part too seriously. Which is why the movie created in Bhojpuri a la Spider-Man is named "Bajrangi", with the hero being blessed with superpowers by Hanuman (maakad = monkey in Marathi).

And while we are still on the subject, given the dark themes of Spider-Man 3, I am not at all surprised to know Makad Manav also moonlights as Gabbar (the actor who gives his voice to Spidey is also acting as Gabbar in Bhojpuri Sholey).

P.S. In today's world of Information superhighway and all, I am not surprised that a website promises me the review of "Spider-Man 4", a movie which is "in production" according to IMDB.

P.P.S. Click "Bollywood Bites" for other posts in this series.


Technorati Tags: bollywood, spiderman, bhojpuri, dubbing, India

Bollywood Bites VII

First came ved and upnishad (which are "sung" in their original format). Then came shayari and many other forms of music. Then came the musicals (marathi musicals and their stars are famous).



Given the glorious tradition of Indian music and dance forms, it was but natural that the original Indian movie-makers would add song-and-dance sequences to their movies. Thus started the tradition of Indian song fests (with upto 14 songs in one movie. Remember, that's songs, not soundtracks)





When people started getting bored, the directors added "bonus" sightings in their movies, in the form of "item songs". Catering to the so-called front-seaters in the theatres (which are so different from front-benchers in the schools in their behaviour and expectations, but I digress), the item songs also provided an added incentive for people to watch the movies, in the form of their favourite attractive actors (the gender-neutral noun now being appropriate) even if just for 5 minutes or less.



But, it seems now people are not content with watching one actor dancing to a feet-tapping number. Or maybe, it is a very good strategy on the part of director, that almost every person who watches Bollywood movies will get to see their favourite star in this song. I mean, out of 30 actors in a song, every movie-goer should have at least one actor whom he/she likes to watch, right?



Update: I was almost sure that this news was really big enough for "International Herald Tribune" to report, but then I read the word "astronomers" and knew that it was something else (though equally newsworthy).





While we are on the subject of Bollywood, is it only me or does this headline suggest that Suniel (have I missed any e's or i's here?) Shetty is competing with Shakti Kapoor for the recipient of the dialog, "Bhagwan ke liye muze chhod do"?



Click "Bollywood Bites" for other posts in this series.

Technorati Tags: bollywood, actors, songs, suniel shetty

Life Is Weird

Harry Potter fans know Imelda Staunton as Her Pinkness Dolores Umbridge, The High Inquisitor. For all non-Harry Potter fans (really people, when will you see The Light?), she (Umbridge, not Staunton) is a nasty, prejudiced disciplinarian, who does things like shown in the video below:



(sorry for the voice, or rather lack of it)

Which is why it is weird when you suddenly come across her (Staunton, not Umbridge) acting as DSI Julie Enfield (more about her later) on BBC, where she takes "private lessons" from a handsome chef in one episode (radio drama = full vocalization *ahem*), and is heard karaoke-ing (that's a word) in another. It's like having your HoD walk in the college canteen and start taking about "Successful Proxy Techniques". In a word, "That's weird"...

And talking about weird, remember when the garden hose you use has something jammed in it, then you start the water and after some time, the jammed thing suddenly flies out of the pipe? My headphones are like that pipe.

Yesterday, I was listening to some things while sitting in library. After a while, I packed my laptop, disconnected the headphones and connected them to my i-pod. Suddenly, after 5 minutes I heard *ting-ding* in my headphones, the sound whose source could only have been me disconnecting my mouse from my laptop's USB port.

And then today, I selected the latest Julie Enfield mystery on my i-pod and left for school. Halfway there, I heard the sounds the scroll-wheel of i-pod makes through the headphones. The weird thing is, my i-pod was locked since I left my room.